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I've been tagged! - Motherhood lessons

Aparna tagged me to write five foremost lessons that motherhood has taught me. Thanks Aparna for this tag! This is my first-ever tag.

Parenting, especially motherhood, is one job where the parents (it is a learning curve for both parents, although it is the mother who takes the exam) keep learning throughout their lives — it starts with bringing the child into this world, understanding the baby, dealing with the toddler, bonding with the teenager and nurturing and keeping the relationship alive with the adult.

I had a planned motherhood but I was totally unprepared for the challenges that this new responsibility was to throw onto me. The first few months of handling a demanding baby that hardly slept during the day and my own post-partum blues taught me to expect the unexpected. Just as I was to give in to despair and frustration, things began to look up and it was just a beginning to a wonderful relationship.

I learnt to take life a little easy and forgive myself for the mistakes that I made. I understood that everything cannot be planned and plans will invariably be upset with a baby in the household. I learnt to respect myself as an individual and also trust my decisions- this part is tough as I constantly self-doubt only to be reassured by my husband.

I found a new-found respect for my own parents as I realized how easy it is to judge someone from the outside but how very difficult it is to play the role of a parent. It is not as though you didn’t respect or love them earlier but after you become a parent, life takes on a new perspective that can be appreciated only by someone who is a parent.

A child lives life every moment. Each moment is enjoyed and explored to its potential. I am marveled and try to imbibe this very crux of life. I never realized that a smile on my child’s face could light up mine like a thousand-watt bulb. Every mischief and antic is cherished and relived by narrating it to my husband later in the evening or writing it out on this blog. Never thought life could revolve around a child in so many ways than one.
Having said this, I have also realized the importance of having my own “me” time. I realized that I will function better as a mother only if I can get some time off to be able to appreciate the time spent in.

As a parent I am anxious to give my child all the best things in life- just as any other parent would want to. Most importantly, I want to create a positive environment that is growth- conducive in our home for our son. This includes, among many other things, maintaining a healthy relationship with the spouse. Of course I take out my failings and frustrations as a mother on the hubby but I believe and realize that it is important for the child to feel the love, respect and warmth between the parents. So, just as it is necessary to be a good parent so it is to be a good spouse - at least in front of the child..;-)


This tag has been going around for quite sometime now in the mommy blogger circle and I have nodded my head in affirmation to most points that other mothers have written about. I tag:

Vidya (Life under the sky),
JLT (Just like that),
Uma (of the Pattu fame),
Chotu’s mom (chotu’s world),
Simran (chipsnchutzpah),
Nancy (Reflections)
and any other parent (fathers are also welcome) who would like to take up this tag. Would love to hear from you guys!

Comments

  1. U r right....we look at our parents with new found respect which keeps increasing as our children grow older;-D
    Agree, 'Me time' is important....we tend to let our children take over our lives and even feel guilty for thinking of taking time out for ourselves;-(.

    Enjoyed ur take on it!!!
    Thanks for tagging me...I've already done joys of motherhood a few years back. This will be interesting:-))!!!!

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  2. Very nice ones Uma! I have very similar feelings about interactions with the spouse "in front of the children" :).

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  3. Thanks for tagging me Uma. A subject very close to my heart... Will take it up soon! A very good post this.:)

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  4. Nancy: Thanks! and am sure your version would be interesting..

    Aparna: thanks Aparna!

    Zeba: :-) learning never ceases...

    Vidya: you are welcome and thanks!
    waiting to read your take...

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  5. I have seen people around me changed by a degree once they have become mothers..
    just did not know they went through all this.

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  6. nice post uma... according to me, the best part of being a mother is when a kid grows up, he discovers a close and caring friend in his mother and not in his father as fathers are like coconuts(hard from outside but soft from inside)... this is what i have experienced with my parents....

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  7. perception: :-) yes, life is different once you become parents...

    Radhika: thanks Radhika :-)...yeah that is a typical household where the father is feared...hopefully in our generation, the child finds a friend in both parents...

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  8. Hey Uma. So sorry. I read ur post only now. It never appeared in my blogger dashboard! I wonder why...:(((
    Really enjoyed ur perspective. Especially what u say about maintaining a healthy relationship with the spouse, which goes for a toss many times when a baby arrives on the scene.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aparna: hey it's perfectly ok!
    Glad you liked my take...
    The baby takes away so much of our time and energy that the issues which normally would seem trivial gets blown out of proportion. It becomes more important than ever to have some couple time with or without the kid to maintain some sanity.

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  10. Yay!! I finally did it. I completed this tag and here it is - http://chipsnchutzpah.wordpress.com/2011/07/27/being-a-mommy-has-taught-me/
    - Simran

    ReplyDelete

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