Of the birthday that went by

Another Birthday went by. Another year added to the timeline. But, it doesn't matter. No matter what number you hit that year, there is a child-like anticipation and eagerness for the D-day to dawn. At least, for me. Yes, life and age has definitely diminished the excitement, intensity, enthusiasm, call it what you may. Still, who doesn't like to be the center of attraction for a full day. The phone calls, the messages, the attention showered by the near and dear ones-it all feels good, doesn't it? 

However, this post is not about all this philosophy. This is about how I allowed myself to be sucked in the quicksand of changing technology and its effects. The husband had been, for a long time now, asking me to upgrade to a smart phone and I had been resisting it citing one or the other reason. Seriously speaking, I never felt the need to. The internet and FB on the PC had anyway engulfed me enough and I was afraid of having it in my hands, literally. So, the game continued between us for a long time; of him goading me and of me taking a puritan stand. I exactly don't remember how all of this changed but I agreed to 'the birthday gift' this year by the husband.

And, friends, as a natural consequence, since then my fingers are constantly being exercised, the hands cannot resist holding the sleek, smart thing, every now and then, and I'm besieged by an almost round-the-clock ring of messages on, of course the "Whatsapp", the devil after Google and FB, IMO. I find my eyes and ears shifting stealthily to where the devil is ostensibly kept away from distracting family time. My guess is that the husband is already kicking himself for what was supposed to be a sort of upliftment of a fellow being. Sigh! so much for his noble intentions. I do feel for him ;-)

That aside, this year, a little more zing was added to the celebration with the husband taking an off that day and we sneaking off to a movie while the kiddo was at school. Only wish the movie was worth all the effort. Shudh Desi Romance was hardly romantic or even half humorous as the promos suggested. In fact, I liked Chennai Express better for all its mindless nonsense and masala.

Conversations with the toddler

The other day, as I picked up R from the school bus and headed back home, he asked me excitedly:

Do you know my name?

Err..yes, of course!

No...my name is T-Rex. Please call me T-Rex from now on..


The name now varies from T-Rex, to Tiger shark, to dinosaur, to alligator, to myriad other species!

The child had a sport's day event a couple of months ago and R came home with his face and T-shirt all muddy. His mouth was smeared with remnants of chocolate too. Upon asking I came to understand that apparently the teacher had rewarded him with the chocolate because he "ran well". A little more prodding into why and how he ran and who else ran with him, he replied that he came first and the other girl who ran with him came second. The answer amused me to no end since it reminded me of this ad:

Several attempts to fish out the correct information went in vain since he kept altering the answers and I left it at that. I didn't think too much of the sports event until a couple of weeks later when the boy actually came up with a certificate for having stood first in sports day event. The event stated " getting ready for school" event. Whatever, that means. But, I am a proud mommy :-)

Talking of chocolates, until last year, R would religiously bring back all the chocolates that he'd receive at school. It is not the case any more. It was his friend's birthday the other day and I asked him if he wished his friend and got any chocolates. When asked why he didn't save any chocolate for me, pat came the reply,

"But, you'd anyway say that you don't want it, no?"


*My dear son, at least ask me to see if I actually say that. Or, is it that you know I may not refuse and don't want to take a chance? ;-) *

Hello everyone! I'm alive, thanks for asking.

It's been a month since I wrote something here. So, should I call this as my comeback post or will this be just a filler? It's difficult to say at this moment as I seem to have lost all interest/motivation/energy/creativity-call what you may-to fill up this space. Sadly, something that I though I was passionate about is withering away without no gardener to nourish its roots. I cannot place my finger on any one single reason other than a combination of the usual reasons- writer's block, busy life and sinking motivation.

There were times when ideas did crop up and I felt the familiar urge, albeit one with a far lesser intensity, to update the blog. The idea and feeling, sadly, passed away too soon in my recently accelerated routine life. Now, there's where there is some activity and excitement and probably why my energies are all diverted. The handover of the new house is to happen very soon and I'm in the midst of heavy duty work of getting all the documents in place, meeting up with my designer's team and following up with the site engineer to buck up with the finishing work.

I'm all excited and anxious about the next phase - of getting the place done up. This is something I've been imagining about for the past many months and now as the time gets nearer, my anxiety level seems to have gone up by a new notches. Suddenly, everything seems overwhelming. I'm besieged by doubts of how things will shape up, what if something goes wrong-which I'm sure does happen in such cases, if the entire plan of design, storage, lighting, etc will all match up to our needs and expectation. 

My content writing work has also picked in past few months and I'm seeing some positive developments. So again, this is something else that has kept me on my toes, which, ironically has lead me to neglect the space that was instrumental in bringing the work to me.

The final and main culprit is of course, a lack of motivation. When I started out, I wrote because I liked to. Then when the reader community grew, this liking developed into a sort of narcissism. I'd be all excited to compose and publish a post and then would eagerly await comments. The fact that people read me and wanted to share their opinion gave me a certain high and I got addicted. Sadly, I noticed, my love for writing has been replaced by need for approval and recognition from fellow writers. I am unable to write freely because my mind is blocked with external factors.

I'm hoping to crawl my way back to when I began. Until then,a short update: 

 My parents were here for the past three weeks and we had an awesome time bonding. Celebrating Avaniavittam and Gokulashtami with them was so much more fun than usual. R got a huge chunk of special time with his grandparents and he enjoyed their attention to bits. The house feels so empty today as we saw them off to the station. R, who usually is brave while saying goodbyes, cried bitterly. Sigh! the pitfalls of living away from family and cousins.