Instance 1
A little boy cries because a certain thing does not go his way.
"Don't cry. Are you a girl to cry?", snubs the parent.
Instance 2
Another little boy whines for some reason.
"Don't whine. Only girls whine", chides the parent.
Instance3
An innocent lad plays an innocent game of "dress-up" or is playing with a kitchen set
"Don't play like this. Only girls play this game."
Instance 4
A small boy falls down while playing, is hurt and is crying.
"Stop crying now. Be brave and strong. You are a boy."
Yes, the crying had to be stopped. But the more important lesson to be taught is that, that it is OK when sometimes things don't go your way and life has to be taken in its stride. Unfortunately the only lesson learnt is-boys cannot/should not cry and that the expression, rather than the reason, is wrong.
Yes, whining is not a pleasant way to react to a particular situation. The boy had to be taught that one cannot keep complaining about a certain situation and that it is up to us to turn any situation to our advantage instead of looking at the negative side of it. However the lesson learnt was that girls generally behave in a disapproving manner.
Little kids like to play dress-up as it gives them an opportunity to explore and experiment. It is not important or necessary to give them an insight of worldly perception right then. The understanding or perception that the kitchen belongs to girls/women is injected so subtly yet effectively at this tender age that when these boys become husbands, it is no surprise to see them continue to hold the thought.
To cry when you are hurt physically and mentally is a way of expression. There is no harm in shedding tears if you are going to feel better at the end of it. Be it when you are 3 or 30. It is a natural reflex and it gives relief. When you deny someone the right to express in a particular manner, there is every likelihood of the emotion getting manifested in a different level and perhaps unpleasant manner.
Girls have as much right to lessons of courage and bravery as boys. Masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with the gender. Yin-yang, male-female, X and Y are just attributes that are applicable to any living being. No one person can live a balanced and fulfilled life with just one set of emotions functioning. Being sensitive, kind and compassionate does not make a man effeminate. In fact, it makes him much more humane.
Maybe if we could stop typecasting our children and be more sensitive to what we say, we can perhaps raise a generation that is far more sensitive towards the other gender, less violent in thoughts and action, and more considerate and compassionate to the others' feelings. A new world of goodness in the future-however distant it might seem today-might perhaps be a possibility and reality. Can we hope and try?
A little boy cries because a certain thing does not go his way.
"Don't cry. Are you a girl to cry?", snubs the parent.
Instance 2
Another little boy whines for some reason.
"Don't whine. Only girls whine", chides the parent.
Instance3
An innocent lad plays an innocent game of "dress-up" or is playing with a kitchen set
"Don't play like this. Only girls play this game."
Instance 4
A small boy falls down while playing, is hurt and is crying.
"Stop crying now. Be brave and strong. You are a boy."
Yes, the crying had to be stopped. But the more important lesson to be taught is that, that it is OK when sometimes things don't go your way and life has to be taken in its stride. Unfortunately the only lesson learnt is-boys cannot/should not cry and that the expression, rather than the reason, is wrong.
Yes, whining is not a pleasant way to react to a particular situation. The boy had to be taught that one cannot keep complaining about a certain situation and that it is up to us to turn any situation to our advantage instead of looking at the negative side of it. However the lesson learnt was that girls generally behave in a disapproving manner.
Little kids like to play dress-up as it gives them an opportunity to explore and experiment. It is not important or necessary to give them an insight of worldly perception right then. The understanding or perception that the kitchen belongs to girls/women is injected so subtly yet effectively at this tender age that when these boys become husbands, it is no surprise to see them continue to hold the thought.
To cry when you are hurt physically and mentally is a way of expression. There is no harm in shedding tears if you are going to feel better at the end of it. Be it when you are 3 or 30. It is a natural reflex and it gives relief. When you deny someone the right to express in a particular manner, there is every likelihood of the emotion getting manifested in a different level and perhaps unpleasant manner.
Girls have as much right to lessons of courage and bravery as boys. Masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with the gender. Yin-yang, male-female, X and Y are just attributes that are applicable to any living being. No one person can live a balanced and fulfilled life with just one set of emotions functioning. Being sensitive, kind and compassionate does not make a man effeminate. In fact, it makes him much more humane.
Maybe if we could stop typecasting our children and be more sensitive to what we say, we can perhaps raise a generation that is far more sensitive towards the other gender, less violent in thoughts and action, and more considerate and compassionate to the others' feelings. A new world of goodness in the future-however distant it might seem today-might perhaps be a possibility and reality. Can we hope and try?
