I was in the disinterested mode, nit-picking unnecessarily only so that I could avoid the rigmarole. The photograph on the profile was not impressive but I dare not say it aloud for my family would have chastened me for being unreasonable and difficult (which of course I had become by then). Secondly, I did not like the name. Ya, laugh as you might. But he has this old fashioned name and I fancied my husband having modern names. Thirdly, he was from Chennai- although he didn’t live there. Now, I had a mental block towards guys from Chennai- don’t ask me why and also because of the oppressive weather I didn’t fancy settling down there. But the other details were quite impressive I should say and so I had no proper reason to turn it down.
His parents lived in Chennai and he had a sister living in Mumbai near where we lived. My mother spoke to his mother who then gave us his email id so that we (the boy and me) could start corresponding. Also, between his parents and my parents, it was decided that his sister come and meet me. I was not excited to say the least. Anyway, like a good girl I dressed up accordingly before they arrived. His sister, her husband, sister’s co-sister and their daughter turned up at our place that evening. I usually take time to open up to strangers but that day I was silent even to my own discomfort. The sister was (is) very friendly and there was small talk about mundane things in life. She asked me if I was willing to relocate to Hyderabad, where the boy worked. I said I didn’t see any problem in doing so. I answered only when spoken to and that too in one-liners. I was secretly hoping that seeing my aloofness they would not go ahead with the matter. Later, when I overheard the sister asking my mother if I always spoke so little, I smiled to myself. My mother and sister covered it up saying that once I get to know the person I can be talkative - which was true in a way.
The next day in office I got a call from my mother. I had recently switched jobs and since the project was yet to start I had all day to me. She sounded excited and said that the sister and company liked me very much and came to our house to convey the same and also gave some personal information about the family which they thought we might need to think over if we needed to go ahead with the alliance. I was like gulp. This, after all that non-cooperative attitude I had put on. Mother was already much pepped up. I told her that anyway I can decide only after corresponding with the boy.
I wrote a general email writing a few details about myself. The date was 19th August. He replied promptly with the very details about himself as I had about myself. I noticed he addressed the emails with a Hi there instead of my name. (My nit-picking skills are quite sharp, btw). He asked me if I was comfortable with settling down in the southern states and/or abroad as his career options permitted him options only in those areas. I replied in affirmative except for Chennai. (No offence to Chennai-ites) He surprised me by replying that he himself had some reservations about the place! A couple of more emails and phone calls later our families started pestering us to meet so that a decision could be reached.
to be contd..
ditto paragraph 1. I had reservations about getting married to a guy from our native place, and yes the name thing too :) rest all is different! :)
ReplyDeleteUma.. managed to read Part 1 and Part 2 together, but now waiting eagerly for the rest :).
ReplyDeleteSimilar feelings about settling down in Chennai, but not gone through the "arranged" process. Also my hubby says my nit-picking skills are improving with every year of marriage ;).
aiyyo...the suspense is killing. full 'thodar kadhai'.
ReplyDeletePurnima: :-)..we'll compare notes after the 3rd part..
ReplyDeleteAparna: haha about nit-picking skills..we are born with it, right..;-)
Chitra: ammam mega serial types..
Hi Uma,
ReplyDeletemissed out your posts in the last one/one and a half months...
well, this post of urs gives a very good idea about how arranged marriages are "arranged"... waiting for your next post.. it might be of some help!! :)
Radhika: :-), well please take only the good part coz this post is not meant to punch holes at the arranged marriage set up..am just trying to find some humour in the situation..
ReplyDeletekeep visiting...feels good to know people miss reading my posts..:-)
Hi Uma. Hopped over from simzcorner.
ReplyDelete"I did not like the name" - same here. We met at work, so it wasn't an arranged marriage. Decided it was okay, one doesn't really get to choose one's own name (although I do think it would be a good idea)
Arundhati: Hi..welcome here!..:-)
ReplyDeletereally? ya even i think it would be a good idea to choose a name..there are communities where the bride's name is changed after marriage..so maybe in cases such as ours we should be allowed to change our husband's names..
keep visiting!
Next one :).
ReplyDelete