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The buddha in my life

Talking to some people even after a long gap brings a smile to your face. You, somehow connect to the person from where you had left off. And, the interesting part is, this is so even though you were never the thickest of pals in that sense where you practically knew everything about each other. Just simply, comfortable friends. So, I met one such friend online the other day, after what seems like ages. We chatted on happily, catching up on each others' lives.

Misery always seeks company. Well, misery may be a strong word here, but any situation that is not (seemingly) worth boasting about to the world, seems better when you find others for company. The thing in question is the nature of husbands. Women all over the world can join hands in feeling empathy for the lady crooning "main kya karron Ram, mujhe Buddha mil gaya" on screen. Buddha does not mean Gautam Buddha here or even someone with his qualities. It also does not mean an Old man in the literal sense. The song pokes fun at the man who cannot keep up with the romantic gestures required (supposedly) to keep the flame of love alive  between a couple, or more so reflects the frustrations of a woman married to such a man.

Every woman, however practical she considers herself to be, does dream of her man in shining armour bringing her flowers once in a while or surprising her in a small way sometimes. Something that the Bollywood has exploited in more ways than one, needling even those without ample imagination, to match up to the standards. When the man in question however has a blase attitude about these petty outwardly notions of love (that's what he feels, of course) even when subtle hints give way to in-your-face demands, the outcome can vary between sour and funny, depending on the woman's disposition.

So, as we got chatting, we hit upon this topic and discovered to our surprise the similarity between our respective other halves with respect to romance. We women do like to confer brownie points on the men who score high on the charts of romantic gestures. In general terms too, when the report card doesn't look too good, one refrains from bringing it up on the table of conversation. Especially when the other's card looks very promising. But, if one has met his match, it's a different story. So, as one of us typed, "the only surprise my husband has given is to buy me some samosas from the corner shop", the other excitedly typed back saying, "Really? the husband here too does not believe in such outwardly show of love". A camaraderie of a new level was struck between us and we laughed at our situations and joked about me blogging about it, for we were sure that for every romantic dude out there must be plenty of nerds who couldn't care less about gifting roses to the lady in their lives. They do care, but cannot for heaven's sake do the mushy rituals.

So, are we missing out on something important? Probably not. For, the poor guys are not villains. They only don't feel comfortable being the Hero.Then, why complain you may ask. Well, because yeh dil maange more! But since we are nice souls too, we'll try not to resort to petty comparisons and restrict ourselves to just singing this song...

Kya karen..tedha hai par mera hai ;-))))


  1. Maybe this is the reason it is said;

    Men are from Mars and women are from Venus

  2. Oh Uma, how beautifully you have expressed without making it sound like a complaint at all. I wish I could write like that. B cos whenever I start talking or writing about it, it looks nothing but like a never ending list of complaints....:( I liked the finishing line, yeh dil maange more!!

  3. Can so totally identify with this!
    This birthday, I was sooo bugged with husband - not that I expect anything much after 12 years of marriage, but when his wife specifically and explicity asks for a cake for her birthday, in so many words, shuld not the man have budged atleast THEN????
    *rolls eyes*
    Really like that u have given such a positive spin to something that can be so frustrating for us :))

  4. hahahahah! for me getting the egg rolls are so so romantic he?

    I loved the way you wrote it

  5. Superlike Uma, u've written it so well! Though in our case perhaps it might be the husband nodding to it more. But I totally agree with you on the way we women tend to compare our better halves and I've noticed the way some women go and praise their partners all out - makes me wonder that, it does! While I tell it like it is, with some reservation! Liked the cartoon pics too, so apt!

  6. Hey please check this out:

    Have something for you here:)

  7. hahhaha... Hilarious! Bollywood sure does feed some mush into our brains and we torture the poor souls in our life called husbands. ;) and yeah, you must be thinking i am satisfied at the tattoo bit? hehehhe, I am currently bugging him for a decent proposal and a Christian wedding with gown, cake et al!

  8. Hey ladies,
    thank you all for the comments. Looks like we all relate to this in parts or whole. But just to let you all know, I got the timing of this post completely wrong. The husband returned from a trip to Chennai this morning and he was armed with a surprise gift for my b'day today!
    Not fair! I'm all guilt-ridden now :-(

    1. Oh nice!!! Thats so sweet...bad ur timing was really way off, lady :) Hope u had a lovely birthday!

    2. abt timing;-D
      Belated wishes Uma, hope u had a wonderful day:-))!!!!

    3. Yes, I did have a good day :-))

  9. Your post reminded me of 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' book. The author says that women need constant and repetitive reassurances from the men in their lives of the love towards them, something the men folk seldom understand :D ha ha

  10. I am in a quandary after reading your sweet post and remarks of Jaishree as to who scored higher, when men are on a weak wicket:) A lovely read and a reminder!

    1. Well, the hubby did score higher this time..I was caught on the back-foot ;-)

  11. Hehe for some reason I'm feeling vaguely guilty after reading ur post....coz I'm the non-romantic one here tho I have improved over the years. The H is I won't say romantic but lets say 'aware' of the importance of birthdays/anniversaries/occasions than I am;-P. But I repeat I have improved;-D.
    So I'll suggest keep doing stuff for him that u expect from him...sooner or later it will dawn on him. And by the looks of it, it has already started;-D

    1. Nancy is it you??? Have you given up your hibernation?? :-)
      Good to hear you've guys need to..hmph!
      and, yeah, talk about timing!
      where did your other comment go??

  12. Although, I am highly inexperienced in this regard.. but still.. padhke kaafi mazaa aaya.. ;) :D Nice and sweet post!!

    1. hmmm...mazaa aaya?? take notes dear..take notes :-)

  13. Hey Uma, are you sure that your other half doesn't read your posts? :P Your timing might not be wrong at all, but his might just have been right :) Belated birthday wishes!

    1. that's a thought..had I not known the husband so well, I'd have liked to believe this..
      The worst part is, he does read my posts and he read his after he gave the gift!! sheesh!
      Thanks a lot, Zephyr for the wishes :-)

  14. Haha. Maybe your husband read the post and decided to prove you wrong? :)


    1. @ Preeti: nahin re, not possible...I posted this late on the eve of my B'day and he returned home early next morning. So, not at all possible :-)

  15. Ha ha ha, add one more to the list :-)
    And belated birthday wishes!! As for the surprise gift, exception only proves the rule, right?

    1. :-)))
      thanks Bindu, yes you are right ;-)

  16. Ha ha nice post :)
    The definition of 'romantic' really varies does'nt it? My previous workplace had an internal blogging portal and there was once a question posted there asking people to define love and the name the most romantic thing their spouse had done for them .. One lady had given a beautiful and a very different reply .. She said the most admirable aspect of her husband was his unquestioning acceptance of her baseless prejudices .. It seems she hates going to petrol bunks and he had once made it a point to have the car tank filled early morning before a 7 AM class she had to attend ..
    So romantic needn't be bollywood style all the time eh? But I have no right to comment as of now .. Shall let you know how I feel when I get there :)

    1. Oh yes, romantic gestures aren't limited to flowers and chocolate. Anything done keeping in mind the sensitivities and needs of the significant other goes a long way in keeping the spark alive..:-)))
      yes, let's reserve opinions until we get there ;-)


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