Things to watch out as you transition into a bigger platform

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Two seemingly disparate thoughts had been playing out in my mind but as I dwelled deeper I realized that they were intrinsically bound together. A transition by my 6-year-old into first grade and my writing. Quite an unlikely pair of thoughts to share a connection, right? Allow me to explain.

R has begun first grade this year. Now, I've come to understand that for kids and parents, this comes as a fairly huge step from the more cocooned atmosphere of a preschool. The subjects to learn branch out into several from the 3 or 4 main ones in pre-kg. There are also different subject teachers that the kids need to interact with as opposed to just a couple in the early years. Since the kids are entering a more independent phase, they are also being trained to be more responsible. That translates into self-written homework notes in the school diary (under the teacher's guidance) and being able to handle a bit of a burst in studies and related activities. So, in a nutshell, there's a bit of a change that the kids (and their parents) need to come to terms with.

Now, this already tricky combination of factors gets amplified if the child has been in a different preschool or preschooling environment; the adaptation or changes can get a bit more trying.  While children are natural adapters to situations and circumstances, it's the adults who seem more like the spoilt brats.

Feelings of insecurity, apprehensions about choices made, comparisons with the erstwhile environment, anxiety over the child's future, were thrown out in the raw, discussed, and dissected. In this, two sets of parents emerged clearly. One that subscribed to these feelings and the other, including me, that did not. While I empathize with the other set and concede that these feelings are natural, I do wish the parents showed some patience in the system and faith in their own choice. Any transition, minor or major, takes time and as parents, we are required to assume to role of the unwavering, solid anchor in the lives of our children who are making forays into the wider world.

As I thought more about this, I realized that what I wished in the above scenario applied perfectly well to my other line of thought. My writing! I've been struggling with writing and only lately I'm beginning to emerge out of this seemingly long span of writer's block, self-doubts, anxiety, and insecurity.

My short span of 5 years of blogging witnessed a lot of changes in the way this enigmatic world of words and connections functioned. I had lived a cocooned life of blogging and was happy in my own frog world. As I got thrown out into deeper waters of powerful writers, social media connections, and unending possibilities of gratification and personal growth, I faltered. Like the village belle making her way in a larger city, I was initially attracted to a larger platform and I dreamed of making a mark for myself. It was a period of transition for me. A big one. Yet, I did not show the patience in the system or the faith in my abilities. I made the mistake of not making the effort to forge new connections or trust the ones I had. I was new, insecure, and doubted my own capabilities.

It's been months of introspection and objective thinking where I've consciously tried to steer clear of the path of self-pity and low self-worth.

Two very contrasting situations found a common root in my mind and I thought I should file away these learnings here.

10 pointers that we could all keep in mind in face of a big transition:

1. Observe how the new system works
2. Take help from the veterans
3. Voice your fears but refrain from feeling victimized
4. Give yourself time to make new connections
5. Adapt to changes in working styles
6. The new is not necessarily evil and the old is not always gold
7. Accept that acquired skills may be rusty and need a reevaluation
8. Expect delays in learning
9. Have faith in your choice
10. Be patient 

Do you agree with these or did you think I was rambling? Do share your thoughts. And, oh, if you didn't notice already, I changed the look of my blog. New learnings and beginnings need to look good on the outside too, right? Did you like the look?

Linking the post to the Yeah Write#274 weekly challenge for Non-Fiction category

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5 ways to move beyond your writing faux pas

Writing blunders. Don't we all make them? If you don't then maybe this piece won't make any sense to you. I can speak for myself and I've no qualms admitting that I make a whole lot of them. On my blog here, in my work-related writing, over formal and informal emails, there have been instances of minor and even gaping flaws.

So, how long do I dwell on my writing faux pas?

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Each time I've realized the shortcomings, I've cringed. My ego is bruised and I cower in embarrassment to think of how I might seem to others. I imagine the sniggers directed towards me; someone who claims to be a writer and yet has not pocketed the nuances and finer aspects of the trade.

Despite this, I sleep over my failings. I brood, sulk, but emerge out of the shadows of self-berating and criticism. To write again. To falter again. It does not happen as easily or automatically as it sounds. Nevertheless, I try not to dwell too much on the damage already done. The more important part is to learn from those and move on. Perhaps, to make newer mistakes; perhaps, to write better.

It has taken me many years to learn to accept my limitations. I don't say I've been able to do this entirely even today. Yet, I'm on the path. Slowly, but steadily. A few decades ago, I'd have stopped trying. Shaming myself privately and losing the courage to pick the pieces up. Today, I at least, I look beyond what could've been and focus on what can be done.

5 Things that I tell myself when I'm too harsh on myself:

1. Accept the fact that there will always be more talented people in my circle.

I realized that I cannot learn if I constantly pit myself against the best. I can only better myself not be better than someone else. It's also unfair to myself.


2. I may not be the best but I'm still good

My field of choice is a large galaxy and we are all at different levels like the planets in orbit. The position of a particular planet does not make it superior or inferior to the others.

This is something I'm still working on. For, I lapse into phases where I tell myself if I'm not at a particular level I shouldn't be trying at all.

3. Set goals but embark on an unconditional journey

While it's good to lay down goals, if we lay down pre-conditions that I have to be 'this' good or I'm no good at all, we might not start on any journeys in life.

I have a problem in setting specific goals. And, I'm not talking only about writing goals. It's because I'm scared to think big; because I pull myself back saying when there are so many better ones out there struggling what better can I do?

4. Goals can be smaller ones. Celebrate every milestone.

So, my answer to the previous point is that I need not think big. I can start with smaller achievable goals and take it from thereon. I need to allow myself to pat my back for every little milestone I achieve along the way. This way the journey itself will become enjoyable and I won't be worried about the destination.

5. Enjoy the journey and don't worry about the destination.

Didn't I say that already? I'm going to tell this again and again. To myself and to everyone out there like me.

What's your mantra to forgive your mistakes and move on?

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