A letter to my 10 year old self

This week's Write Over the Weekend theme at the Blogadda is to write a letter to a 10 year old and this prompted me to write a letter to my 10 year old self. Ten is a delicate age where you are no longer a little child, yet you cannot understand a lot of complex emotions. An age when teachers, marks, friends and the impression you create matters the most. An age that grapples with being independent and at the same time craving for familiarity and acceptance.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda 

Dear girl,

 This is your 30-plus year old self writing to you. You might think I have forgotten you but the truth is far from it. Every time I look at my present self, I realize how far I've come from being you- a shy, introverted, unsure and under-confident school-kid who'd be scared even to ask the teacher permission to go to the loo. Today, I am a far more confident person, more out-going, who has an opinion on many things, is not afraid to voice her thoughts, is somewhat sure of what she is capable of and is content with having her family and lovely friends to share her joys and sorrows. The transition, although quite drastic, has ensured that I can never forget that part of myself and today I wish you'd known a few things that probably could have changed the way you perceived things at that time.

All the threats about amma and appa sending you away to a boarding school is empty. They'll never ever do that. Though, you might wish several years later that you had got a chance to stay in a boarding or even a hostel, for the simple reason that staying independently teaches some important lessons of life that a protected childhood doesn't.

Marks do not mean much. Education means much more than all those red numbers on that paper. Scoring high or getting that teacher to smile at you does not ensure you of a successful life. Study well by all means but do not value your worth by that report card that seems quite dismal at the moment. It really does not matter if you are the teacher's pet or not.

The move to stay in a different suburb is going to change your life much more than you'd imagined. I know, you aren't really thinking on those lines. It's too early to perceive. This will be a changing point in your life where you'll begin to shed your inhibitions and form sweeter friendships. 

Don't worry about friends ignoring you for what you are not. There's still time for you to understand what friendship means and you'll have many more meaningful ones as you grow. You'd understand that number does not matter, character does.

You'll discover hidden talents in you much later in life. If I tell you that you have a flair for language and will do academically much better in your latter phase of school and college life, do not laugh it off in your head, however, incredible it might seem today.

The world will change. Quite fast and sadly for the worse. You'll regret not learning some life-skills like swimming and karate at this point of life.

You'll also regret not listening to amma's instructions to be more sincere, organized and disciplined in life. You'd shape up well later but you'd also realize that some things are best imbibed when younger.

I know, you want to learn to dance now and are unhappy when amma says its best to concentrate on what you are already good at. You'd realize much later that dancing does not come naturally to you. Age 10 does not let you evaluate your skills objectively.   

Even as I write all this I also realize that life is always viewed more objectively in hindsight than in present and eventually, things will always fall in place as a larger picture later. However, it will be in our nature to think about things that could "have been". After a few years, I might realize that my 30 year old self was probably not all that wise as she thought herself to be and would be writing a similar letter to her then.

So, be good and wish you the best,

from,
your 32 year old self
       

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