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Love yourself and love what you do

Funny as it sounds; it is difficult to just be the person you are. Each one of us is unique and has our own idiosyncrasies, talents, strengths and weaknesses. Yet, we lack the ability to recognize all of these in us and accept ourselves just the way we are. We want to be someone else. We keep working on our weaknesses, honing our skills, and seek to be a better (even different?) person, but of what use are these exercises if they are going to erode our core personality and damage our self-esteem?

In life, many of us have role models-someone we want to be like and/or competitors in our chosen fields-who make us go green with envy with their superior techniques and skills, yet are those we want to emulate and even surpass in terms of their accomplishments. Somewhere between wanting to improve and emulate the other person, who might be your peer, friend or competitor, you start comparing self with the other and begin to lose yourself.

What does it, then, take to stretch yourself, your abilities and yet be comfortable in knowing that this is all you can do and accept that the results may not exactly match your expectations? What can do to not let the exercise of improvement reach a point where it not only defeats its very purpose but, oh the horror, leads to the brink when you begin to wallow in self-pity (since you cannot reach the benchmark ) and your general state of mind sinks into lower degrees of satisfaction and happiness?

It is, then, the perfect time to stop and ask if you are enjoying what you are doing. Be it singing, dancing, baking, handling a team for a prestigious project, teaching, writing, blogging, whatever it is that you do for a living or a part-time job or even as a hobby, as long as you take pride in doing them and they bring you joy that is not limited to the one derived by the rewards or awards they might bring, but joy that comes by merely enjoying the act, you succeed. The satisfaction of work has to be a constant even when you're failing in your goals, because if that goes missing then everything else will seem false and temporary.

Again, I'd like to visualize success as something that is certainly more and definitely not restricted to when the world recognizes and applauds your capabilities : a condition where you're happy and content in your own skin, you're proud of yourself no matter what because you'd like to give yourself credit for all the effort you'd taken so far and continue to take, and lastly but not in the least, are generous in forgiving yourself for what you're not and what you did not try in life. 

Comments

  1. Absolutely Uma..to do something that u r good at & d satisfaction out of it cant be compared with any other rewards....

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    1. True, Rohini but it is also tough to not seek public approval and adulation, no?

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  2. Very beautiful post. It talks volumes of your personal growth, Uma,as we all walk this path to our own special realisation. Let's do that something, because we love to, not for anything else. Love you loads.

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    1. Thanks, Shailaja...but very frankly, I'm no where near this realization and sometimes it's so much of a struggle to simple accept life and things as is. :-) Glad to have you here <3

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  3. Oh it's hard - that difference between aspiring to be like someone yet being f yourself. Loved your thoughts Uma.

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    1. Yes, Tulika..very difficult to do that! It essentially boils down to knowing yourself fully and truly which I feel is a constant and evolving process. Thanks, Tulika :-))

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  4. What does it, then, take to stretch yourself, your abilities and yet be comfortable in knowing that this is all you can do and accept that the results may not exactly match your expectations? - Definitely something I've mulled over a lot in different areas of my life! Well written Uma :).

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    1. @ Aparna: When the results do not turn out as expected, it is not easy to not feel disappointment and disillusionment and then we fall into the vicious circle of not wanting to try and being defiant about how you can only do so much!

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  5. The journey in which you lose yourself, happiness indeed needs to be stopped right away. So true. Success shouldn't have a benchmark rather being happy in your own skin.

    (been a while since I have been here :( lots to catch up Uma :) will read later today. Best Wishes)

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    1. Thanks, Shanx..take your time..happy to have you back :-)

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  6. Very reflective post Uma! You have spoken of this in so many dimensions - all of which are tough in real life. Even if one is happy or content in their own skin, there will always be some others who will point out successful others and it begins again...The 'but' to this whole thing is one should try 100 percent, be accepting of failures, happy to be doing whatever is their calling, and love oneself through it all - that stage of self-actualization is difficult.

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    1. Extremely tough, Vibha and hence we go through emotional upheavals at different points in our life and then keep going in circles.
      How are you doing, lady? Have things settled down for you? It's been so long I heard from you. And, sorry, for not taking the effort to reach you. Just caught up with the usual stuff.

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    2. Hey no worries! I can understand! Things are WIP. Will email you soon.

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  7. May I preen? ;) This is something which I have as a trait in myself. I never compare, feel envious for what I do not have or aim to be someone else. I can happily say I am content in my skin :)

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    1. BTW I cannot preen. I never worked on being this way. It is God given :)

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    2. That's a wonderful trait, God given or cultivated, Aarthy! Please give me some tips, will you?

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  8. True to the word. I love writing and the satisfaction that comes out of it is priceless and I got lucky enough to do it as my job :)

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