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Random musings

What does growing up mean to you? Does it or should it rob you of all the intrinsic qualities that a human is supposed to have? Of the warmth, the empathy, the silliness quotient that sneaks in naturally when you are with people you grew up with, the joy of connecting with a long lost friend or acquaintance, of basic courtesies that is expected when a certain level of communication has been established, the list seems endless.

Yet, these qualities are lost on certain people when they reach a certain stage in life. When they can no longer connect to that part of life they grew up in, relate to people who were once their companions, relate to emotions, traditions or a belief system that they were once a part of. They call it growing up. They also call it independent thinking, living and maturing. 

But, of what purpose is such grown-up attitude or maturity if you cannot look back and laugh. If you do not have someone you can share nostalgia with. If you cannot connect the dots in your life and the sense of void created by people who got left out on your journey seems bigger than the sense fulfillment derived from the ones who joined you.

True, people grow in many ways, change in many other ways and that is the way life is. It is also needed to discard excess baggage, disconnect or distance self from ones that no longer fit into your way of thinking to maintain a sane existence. But life has a way of leaving its scars. Of reminding you of the past connects, relations, mistakes, friends, acquaintances, embarrassing moments, happy moments, and sad moments. How you deal with these scars define you as a person. How you've dealt today will be very different from a few years ago.

I'd say if you are a better person that you were a few years ago, you are growing. If you are able to forgive yourself for the little faults in you, you are growing. If you are able to oversee the failures and take a step to correct your mistakes, you are growing. If you're willing to oversee the others' fault, you've truly matured. If you have earned well-wishers along the way who are genuinely happy to see you grow, you've succeeded, but if you've also managed to keep and value the ones who were once a part of your journey, you've then truly succeeded.


  1. Very introspective post, Uma! I am trying to live my life on my values and terms and do not want/seek validation from people who once were and still are a more distant part of my life. We shared good times, experiences, but now walk on different paths and don't interact so intimately. We all are changing with time! If there are scars, there will be fond memories too - life's little black book teaches us a lot!

    1. Well said, Vibha! life does teach us a lot. Even when we think we are at the same place, trying to rush past our mediocrity, we've still journeyed ahead. Hopefully towards betterment :-)

  2. Wow Uma, wondering what led to this introspection :). Especially loved the last paragraph, so meaningful and important for all of us to think about!

    1. People, situations in life, your reactions and your disappointments with yourself and others...happens a lot to me, this time enough to vent it all out :-)
      thanks, Aparna!

  3. Thought-provoking! Sadly, the definition of growing up has been distorted beyond recognition by the society. It's time to set it right.


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