Skip to main content

Random musings

What does growing up mean to you? Does it or should it rob you of all the intrinsic qualities that a human is supposed to have? Of the warmth, the empathy, the silliness quotient that sneaks in naturally when you are with people you grew up with, the joy of connecting with a long lost friend or acquaintance, of basic courtesies that is expected when a certain level of communication has been established, the list seems endless.

Yet, these qualities are lost on certain people when they reach a certain stage in life. When they can no longer connect to that part of life they grew up in, relate to people who were once their companions, relate to emotions, traditions or a belief system that they were once a part of. They call it growing up. They also call it independent thinking, living and maturing. 

But, of what purpose is such grown-up attitude or maturity if you cannot look back and laugh. If you do not have someone you can share nostalgia with. If you cannot connect the dots in your life and the sense of void created by people who got left out on your journey seems bigger than the sense fulfillment derived from the ones who joined you.

True, people grow in many ways, change in many other ways and that is the way life is. It is also needed to discard excess baggage, disconnect or distance self from ones that no longer fit into your way of thinking to maintain a sane existence. But life has a way of leaving its scars. Of reminding you of the past connects, relations, mistakes, friends, acquaintances, embarrassing moments, happy moments, and sad moments. How you deal with these scars define you as a person. How you've dealt today will be very different from a few years ago.

I'd say if you are a better person that you were a few years ago, you are growing. If you are able to forgive yourself for the little faults in you, you are growing. If you are able to oversee the failures and take a step to correct your mistakes, you are growing. If you're willing to oversee the others' fault, you've truly matured. If you have earned well-wishers along the way who are genuinely happy to see you grow, you've succeeded, but if you've also managed to keep and value the ones who were once a part of your journey, you've then truly succeeded.


  1. Very introspective post, Uma! I am trying to live my life on my values and terms and do not want/seek validation from people who once were and still are a more distant part of my life. We shared good times, experiences, but now walk on different paths and don't interact so intimately. We all are changing with time! If there are scars, there will be fond memories too - life's little black book teaches us a lot!

    1. Well said, Vibha! life does teach us a lot. Even when we think we are at the same place, trying to rush past our mediocrity, we've still journeyed ahead. Hopefully towards betterment :-)

  2. Wow Uma, wondering what led to this introspection :). Especially loved the last paragraph, so meaningful and important for all of us to think about!

    1. People, situations in life, your reactions and your disappointments with yourself and others...happens a lot to me, this time enough to vent it all out :-)
      thanks, Aparna!

  3. Thought-provoking! Sadly, the definition of growing up has been distorted beyond recognition by the society. It's time to set it right.


Post a Comment

Would love to hear from you :-)
Also, please click the subscribe by Email link below the comment form to get follow-up comments to your inbox..

Popular posts from this blog

An irrational dream

Pazhaniraja Elangovan trudged his way up the small slope on his rusty bicycle, a hand-me-down from one of his rare kind-hearted clients. A package, a heavy brown carton lay tied to the backseat with several ropes. The chains creaked as he pedaled harder on the slope.

Sweat trickled down his shiny brown face. Tiny buds of fresh acne dotted his forehead and chin area that was also beginning to sprout hair.

"Pazhani, don't keep loitering out in the hot sun," his Amma often chided him gently.

Pazhaniraja would dismiss his Amma's plea with silence.

She had suffered enough bringing him up single-handedly but was still worldly naive. What did she know about managing a part-time job as a local delivery boy, a night school, and a full-time dream? thought Pazhani irritatedly but also controlled his tongue.

His dream. Yes, he dreamed of owning his own business someday and making lots of money. He had many ideas but needed time to work on them.

Today, he thought excitedly. Wedn…

Bhutan: The last leg of our journey at Paro and a round up

Did you read the last post about how we made it to the top of the Takstang Monastery? If not, please do go back and read it.
Before I continue, here's a check-list that will come in handy for travelers.
Things to keep in mind while visiting the Taktsang or the Tiger's Nest Monastery 
1. You are supposed to be fully clothed while visiting this one or any other monastery/temple or Dzong in Bhutan. Which means you cannot wear short skirts, shorts, capris or the likes. Even your hands must be covered, so choose a full or three-fourth sleeved suit, top or shirt. Alternatively, you can wear a jacket or shrug.
2. Use of photography/video is prohibited in the inner sanctum of all temples and monasteries. At the Tiger's Nest, you have to surrender your backpacks with mobiles outside with the security. There are no lockers but like I said earlier, it's absolutely safe even without the lockers.
3. Wear a good quality and comfortable pair of sports shoes if you're trekking to …

The fault in our stares #100-wordfiction

He offered to walk her to the station. She sensed his well-toned arm within the suede jacket brushing against her slender, bare one as they tried to match their uneven strides. He leaned in suddenly towards her ear to whisper something. Her tensed muscles relaxed even as her full-throated laughter echoed through the dimly-lit streets. As the wind teased, his hands enveloped her from behind draping the jacket over her.

Despite enjoying the pleasant company, she felt at unease. She instinctively knew they weren't alone that night.

The judgemental stares turned into full-blown gossip by the time she came home.

100-word fiction story written for a prompt "The fault in our stares" at the BarAThon second edition.