Hi Five

R turns five today, a big-boy milestone. He's been forever waiting for the day to dawn when he'd turn five. I thought it was due to his friend's influence but learned from the baby center updates that kids generally get excited about their birthdays around this time, so he's bang on with that milestone:-p A lot of promises have been made by the little-big fella; things that he'd do once he becomes a beeg boy, more so in a rush if I may add, including sleeping in his own bed, in his room. Ha! If anything, he's asking to sleep next to "amma only" in the recent times, something he never insisted on before!To be fair, we've also tried to milk the occasion by referring to the five-year landmark to get things done :-p

We didn't plan for a big bash this year despite the kid's excitement levels. Firstly, I was not sure I wanted a party in the house, given that our club-house isn't ready yet, and secondly, he hasn't really bonded with any other kid in our complex which makes it tricky to send out invitations. I didn't want to have kids over only because I know their mothers. Anyway, whether I over-thought the situation or found a safe escape route, this year too it's going be just his best friend who'll be coming over with his parents, the happy coincidence being that they happen to be our close family friends. So, really a win-win situation!

I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said he wanted balloons, cake and have everyone invited. The 'everyone' bit caused a temporary panic attack with some guilt creeping up my neck. For a moment I wondered if it would be possible to churn out a conventional party in such a short notice. As usual my mind ended up working overtime in vain for it turned out that by 'everyone' he meant his grandparents. 

I always worried that my boy had this detached outlook towards relationships that fell outside of the realm of our family nucleus, which includes us, his parents. He'd connect and bond with the extended family, no doubt, but he'd never display any longing for them once they were out of sight or even refer to them. However, I saw a marked change in him this time when my parents visited. Not only did he bond better but he was vocal about his feelings for them and insisted that they stay back until his birthday. While I was relieved to discover my misplaced worry (yes, that includes not having to throw a party), I felt a tug at my heartstrings to have his desire go unmet.

R talks nineteen to the dozen and sometimes I just want to shut my ears to all the 'see this plane, it goes so fast' to 'I'm a whale/dinosaur/ am so strong'. Yes, there is no end to all the cars, planes and animal talk. Some additions to his vocabulary are "blood, death and bomb blast!" Gory and scary as they sound, I was startled when it all began but as I compared notes with other mothers, I learned that such talk is quite normal in a household with kids, especially boys. Eeks!

I've failed to record the many funny and not-so-funny conversations that happen in our household but this one stuck with me:

As it goes, R is very fascinated with age and the numbers associated with it.

R: How old are you?

Amma: 3x

R *looking incredulous*: And, Appa??

Amma: 3x + y

R: oh my! That old? That means you'll die!

Sigh! Yes, my child, we all have to die someday. Maybe you'll learn to speak more sensitively about this. On second thoughts, what the hell, it's better to be so blasé and practical about it!

Wish you a great birthday, dearest R. May God bestow you with all the goodness in the world. Amma and Appa love you loads.

****

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Of R's first stage performance and adios to his first school

March 19th was R's annual day at school. The event was a sort of culmination of the year round of school and fun activities as the school closed for the academic year on Friday with a potluck party. The theme for the annual day was "festivals of India". Something I came to know when the invitation cards were sent out a couple of days prior to the event.

The practice sessions had begun a month earlier. I, like many other parents, was very curious to know the song on which R was to perform. But, the little man knows to keep his secrets. No amount of prodding, direct or indirect questioning lead to any clues. All he would proudly display was the smiley and star caricature on his fist, that the teacher would draw as a mark of appreciation for dancing well. On a few occasions, he did tell me that he is dancing ( to my horror) to dhinka-chika. The song would change the next day to (more horror) why this kolaveri di? I decided to refrain from asking him any further, lest he added sheila and munni to the brigade!

Of course, I knew in my heart that the actual song cannot be anywhere close to these item numbers since the teachers had asked for a dhoti and kurta as the costume dress. But, I had to wait until the D-day for the mystery to unravel itself.

The event was very well-organized and the efforts put in by the entire staff clearly shone through. The program started dot on time. There were environment or class-wise performances representing each of the major festivals that fall during the year in chronological order. It was such a pleasure to see the kids have a good time on the stage without a trace of inhibition. While, it would have been too much to expect complete coordination and cooperation from these toddlers, it was heartening to see all of them enjoy themselves. And, not a single kid cried!

The song selection was apt. Before the start of each dance, we were shown videos of the children from that particular environment at work and play on the screen projector. The program was interspersed with some interesting questions thrown at the audience. Every parent had their eyes only for their child on stage and we were no exception. R and his group performed for Krishnashtami and the song was "mach gaya shor sari nagari re" from the movie Khuddar (80's). We simply loved the simple and cute steps that befitted the innocent age.

The following Saturday was the PTM which lasted exactly for five minutes for R.  It seems, he is doing very well and he's smart too! What was there to discuss here, then? There were no concerns except that we were told he does not like to colour. Well, I knew he has taken after the mother in this aspect.  My heart really felt heavy when we bid goodbye to the school and the teachers.  The memories of his first school will always be special and I'll surely miss this place.
 

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Of movie, celebrations,good food and some musings

Only someone who has been living under the rocks would have missed knowing that yesterday was the International Women's Day. The husband and I, on the other hand, celebrate this day each year without fail. Not because the husband is extremely conscious of this day and chooses to make it special for his lady, but because, we chose to get married on this day!

So, the celebrations included watching Kai Po Che and a lovely dinner. I had read the book- The three mistakes of my life on which the movie is based- a few years ago and don't really remember how much I liked it. So, cannot say whether the movie is better than the book or not. All I can say is I liked the movie. Some lovely acting, good cinematography, realistic depiction and no melodrama.

The Savvy-Savannah Sinclairs was a new restaurant we tried out for dinner and were not disappointed. While the Ala-carte menu seemed a little limited, the food was really good.

This year we completed six years of married life. Don't know whether to make a big deal out of it or not. It is after all the quality time spent together that matters. Talking of which, I find it difficult to remember when was the last time the husband and I sat down for a quiet chat. The background always seems to have the little one chattering and clamouring for attention. Especially and more so when he sees us settle down to talk!

Talking of numbers, this blog crossed 50,000 views yesterday. I began the year with the resolution to read, write and travel more. The first quarter results doesn't seem very promising. I haven't been writing as much I thought I should be. The enthusiasm and creativity seems to be fading away. On the reading front, I got my hands on the third book of the Shiva trilogy-The Oath of the Vayuputras and I'm on it. This makes it the third book in the past three months and while it may not sound like an awesome statistic, it makes me feel a little better. I am doing better than before. I have, sadly, nothing to update on the travel front.

So, folks, that's all the mumbo-jumbo from my end. Wishing you all a happy weekend!

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Daddy's boy

R is talking a lot these days and that too mostly in English! Verbs and tenses are, of course, thrown to the wind. But that's beside the point. It is amusing to hear him talk full and long sentences in a language that was alien to him less than a year ago. At times, I am amazed at the use of the right words at the right places.

During his recent hospital visits, he amused the nurses and the on-duty doctor with his quick retorts. That was of course after his fever had subsided and he was back to his sunny self. As is the wont with adult folk, one of the typical questions to young children is which school they go to. And, so when the doctor posed the question, R who was thorough with the answer, replied confidently. He was not prepared for an unexpected next question that asked him where his school was. Not to be perturbed by such things, R replied without batting an eyelid, "There..... Near Appa's office!"

In one other instance, the nurse came to check his temperature and give his dose of medicine. This young man obviously didn't take this very well and told her, "Don't come near this bed. I don't want to talk to you." As if this was not sufficient, he added, "I'm C's (the husband's name) friend!!" for good measure. As though the husband is the Don of the city and anyone would shudder and stop in their tracks upon hearing the name!

This is not just a proof of his nonsensical chatter but also a trailer of how much R is turning out to be a daddy's boy. It's always Appa, appa all the time. His mannerisms, the way he talks and walks, everything mirrors the way Appa is. If the Appa goes missing even for a few minutes (when the Dad is at home, that is), it is immediately noticed and he'd run to me to ask where his Appa went. He even has the cheek to tell me, " he (the Dad) is mine. I cannot share him with you!" I feel the urge to retort that the older guy was mine till the cheeky lil' fella came into our lives and it is me who should be saying this to him.

I had heard that sons are generally mamma's boys but here the story is quite the opposite. Sigh!

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A forgettable week that was

Oh, what a week this has been! Anxious moments and illness had gripped the household. R had been fighting a nagging cold for a very long time now and the past few weeks saw him dealing with some nasty cough on and off. Just as he was recovering from all of it, he suddenly ran a high temperature last weekend. The paracetamols were only bringing the fever down by a couple of degrees and the fever would shoot up just as the effect of the medicine began to wear off.  And, on Monday morning, we had to rush R to the emergency ward of a hospital following a bout of shivering.

He was kept under observation, given a few other dosages of rectum suppository and a lot of sponging. The thermometer finally signalled normal after a intravenous dose of antibiotic. We were sent home late in the afternoon, by when the husband and I looked like patients ourselves. Imagine, we were in the hospital since morning without a bath, breakfast or even proper lunch!

And, then began a series of blood tests and many more visits to the hospital during the week as R had be injected the antibiotic until the reports came out. He had developed a lower respiratory chest infection and was advised a course of oral antibiotics. Somehow, this seemed like a mild let off in comparison to the anxious thoughts of Malaria and Dengue that were plaguing my mind until the test results came out.

Did the valentine's Day just went by? Well, in all this chaos, I hardly took note, until of course, a lady staff in the hospital extended a red rose and wishes to mark the occasion! Well, what a place to be reminded and how! I remarked a tad caustically to the husband in the car later about the irony of the situation. The hubby of course couldn't have cared less. But, looks like I'm growing older (and perhaps wiser?) too since these things now do not matter much in my head too.

The week was ending on a better note than it began on, but I said my prayers too soon since the husband fell sick over the weekend and I had to cater to two little ones in the house. Who's the other little one, you ask? The husband of course! Of course everyone likes to be pampered when they get sick, so I can't be too harsh, can I? Only, just wonder if I even have the luxury to fall sick and get pampered.

ETA: We are all OK now :-)

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School admissions and such related stuff

Image: google, Deccan Herald

Dealing with school admissions these days definitely amounts to research work akin to the ones done before getting a Ph.d. Starting with what board to choose from, to checking out schools in the vicinity, to evaluating their curriculum and not the least, their (astronomical) fee structure. Adding to the confusion is the varied parental reviews about each school. 

As you'd have guessed by now, we have been dealing with R's school admission process in the past few months. Unlike many other parents, we did not do a tour of schools in our locality. The fact that baring a couple of schools, most schools are situated at a distance of minimum of 13-14 kms from our place, made our job easier. Yes, most reputed schools are quite far and yet, surprisingly a humungous crowd goes to these schools from our complex. Therefore, 
we fall in the minority category of parents who attach more importance to distance among other factors. 

We checked out only two schools in the end, and went ahead with one of those, although I still keep revisiting our preference for the chosen one since the school we rejected is situated right at our backyard! However, it has been drawing a lot of flak lately for it's lopsided management policies, high teacher attrition and in general a seemingly lack of control over things. The other school, although a little far off in comparison, appealed to us in terms of the management response, infrastructure and positive reviews of its parent branch in a different location.  Yet, there is constant humdrum in my mind of whether I've taken the right decision, if it'd be better to continue R in the present set-up and look for high schools later or whether I should go for the nearest school and not worry too much about other factors ? Gosh! it tougher being a parent today, methinks.

Just in case you were wondering didn't I just go through the playschool rigmarole just a year ago and happily settled for the Montessori R is going to currently? Yes, you're quite right. I too wondered about the same. Especially, because, not only did the teaching methodology  appeal to me, it also meant I'd have to look out for big schools only after another 3 years. But, then you know, I had many people telling me that getting admissions in higher classes become progressively difficult. I might get admissions alright but it may not be the school I want, I was told. So, that's the reason behind the renewed hunt.

Coming to the brighter part: before I sound like a broken record grating horribly on the nerve, the shortlisted school follows the Montessori method for the pre-schoolers- hence gets an extra thumbs up from my side.  Ok, before you folks pick that broom and hit me out for this long-winded saga story, let me finish on a lighter note. After we submitted the applications, we were called for a personal interaction. It was a casual and informal session where about 3-4 kids were engaged in some activities by the teachers to glean some information from them orally and to gauge their skill level. One parent was allowed to be with the kid, if the kid so wished. I am not going into the discussion of what could be gauged from tiny-tots and if this is necessary at all. My solace is at least this school had it in an absolute casual manner. One of the reputed schools, I heard, had a formal interview with the child, asking everything that could be asked from names of fruits, vegetables to colours to alphabets to names of the parents, phew!

Now, we are parents who do not believe in coaching the kids for an interaction that is in all likelihood just a formality (at least for nursery). So, we thought it is best to let R be himself. It was useless to even give him an idea of what was in store is what we believed.  So, we marched in our best attire that morning with a happy R in tow. Once at the reception, they asked us to wait for a few minutes until our turn. Now, this school is situated close to a railway track which meant that there are train sightings- an eye-treat for little children. So, R was mighty excited and wished to remain at the entrance foyer and didn't want to enter the classroom. So, in a sense we hit a roadblock at the onset itself. Next, he demanded that I come along, something that seemed quite contrary to his usual independent nature. The teachers appeared warm and friendly and asked him if he wanted to colour. R's reply? No. Do you want to play with the blocks, then? No.  Would you like to sit here? No. I want to see the train! The teacher was kind enough and steered the conversation to other things to make him comfortable. R finally agreed to sit. Then, they showed him a picture of balloons and asked him what it is. R said, "flower". He even translated it for good measure with great confidence in tamil and said,"poo" (flower in tamil). I didn't know where to look. Actually, I wanted to laugh but was scared it would encourage R to provide funnier answers. The teacher also looked like she had come across such an innovate answer for the first time. She composed herself to say,"umm..maybe they look like cherries?" But our boy was adamant. Then, to my relief, he rattled off the right colour names, reviving my confidence. Then he was encouraged to play with some blocks. He put the smallest black below the largest one and insisted that that's how it should be and that it is an aeroplane. After some scintillating conversation about aeroplanes and such, the teacher asked if he liked aeroplanes. R's reply, "No"! Later, at the principal's office too he was talking his head off about some random stuff giving us very less chance to talk! Well, at least he kept them (and us) in splits.

And the best part? In spite of all the circus above, we got through the interview! So, all's well that end's well :-)

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Celebrating Diwali

Diwali is here. Usually, I am at my parent's place around this time of the year. This is the first time in five years that I am celebrating the festival of lights in my house with just the three of us and a whole lot of friends to compensate for our family. And, this also meant, I had to indulge in the usual pre-Diwali preparations which included making of the Diwali sweets and savouries that I'd conveniently skipped so far at the parents' house.

However, I was pretty excited from the word go and was looking forward to buying diyas, decorative lights, sprucing up the home and even making the bakshanams (the sweets and savouries). Last week was a whirlwind activity of polishing off the dust and clutter from the house. There was a donation drive in our complex and I happily gave away some old clothes to under-privileged children. I planned ahead and shopped for the lovely lights, decorative diyas and ready-to-make rangoli design moulds. These moulds are a big boon for people like me who can only look wistfully at lovely rangolis in front of other creative folk's houses because we cannot draw even straight lines, leave alone make a flowery design!

So, here we are:  (excuse the poor photography, I blame the camera ;-)

 

R dancing away to glory

Fireworks

I successfully prepared some traditional sweets and savouries, after some sweat and effort. So, yay to that!
I was not too keen on buying and bursting crackers but had to give in to hubby and R's excitement levels. R thoroughly loved watching the colourful fireworks. We had a small get-together in our complex a day before Diwali, with yummy food stalls, art and handiwork for display and sale, exciting games and the famous housie. I never ever win at Housie, yet buy the tickets religiously each time. There is some weird fun and excitement in anticipating the number on your tickets to be called out. While, this time too I did not win at the Housie, I won a gift voucher at a musical quiz. So, that made my day :-)

So, how did you guys celebrate Diwali? Wishing you all a fun-filled, prosperous and safe Diwali!

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Updates from R world

After a week of festivities and 4 crazy days without the internet, I am happy to be here before my favourite gadget. Really, I might have mentioned this before but a period of abstinence from the computer/virtual world makes me want to climb up the wall. I may not voluntarily want to write or interact with anyone virtually for days, but give me a non-functioning net connection or machine and I am ready to bawl or bug the husband.

But, the enforced downtime gave the mother-son duo the bonus hours to bond qualitatively as well as quantitatively. R was happy to have the mom a.k.a ready partner to play cars and aeroplanes and read out books as much as he liked while the mommy too found it easy to play without the guilt of neglecting work. There is only so much following up and pestering the cable guy even mommy can do!

The little frisky guy is growing up to be a big boy in many ways. He has calmed down in his manners- he no longer is the restless toddler at home (at least not at all times), always upto some mischief or antics, rather, is able to sit down patiently for a while with a toy or a book. (However I cannot say the same for the outdoors, or shopping at malls: these places still lure him to run around uninhibited.) The recent parents-teachers meeting at R's Montessori reinforced our observation and it made us happy to hear from his teachers too about how initially R could not sit in one place for even 5 minutes but can now easily sit to finish an activity even if it takes him an hour. Whether it is the Montessori effect or is it generally a part of growing up, I can't say. All in all, it is definitely a more peaceful phase of parenting than ever.

R has always loved books and am glad that the interest has not waned one bit. I try and keep adding different kinds of books to his collection. There are some books that pique his curiosity and interests more than the others and it shows in the level of repetition. He knows a few of them by rote and rattles off the sequence of events from his mind as he turns the pages.

R is increasingly losing the baby lingo and is constructing many long and difficult sentences. He comes up with things that make us go LOL or red in face depending upon the context. I must say kids do have the knack to say the darndest and sweetest things to say at times. A charmer, he knows when I am really upset, makes a sad face and says, "sorry amma, I won't do it again". And, he can get very persistent in getting my attention. For.e.g it is not sufficient anymore to absent-mindedly say a 'hmm..','ok', or even 'good' to some of his statements. He catches the disinterest and lack of attention and pleads in turn," amma, nee R kitta paesaen..." (amma, why don't you talk to me?") :-)
Trust me, it is not easy to listen to constant mindless chatter and to be able to satisfactorily respond to statements like "this car is going phut phut and fell down with a thud" or questions like "why a certain car is a Alto and not anything else" or a random shout of objects identified from a book.

As you can see, the obsession with cars and other vehicles is pretty much going strong. Even a fleeting glance of an advert with vehicles while skipping channels catches R's attention and he demands to watch it, "I want to see that car/truck/plane. You also see that. Don't watch this." Hmm.

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Of book-reading and crafts exhibition- a satisfying weekend

We had reason to smile a lot this weekend. I had planned on attending a book-reading/launch session by Arthi Anand Navaneeth, also known as Artnavy of The not-so artful dodger. This was being done a second time in the city and since I missed the previous one, I was keen on attending it. I am glad we made it inspite of the horrible traffic which made an anxious me grate on the husband's nerve and also causing us to miss the introduction. But, the fun we had compensated us for all that.

The book "Have you seen this?" written by her (published by Tulika publications) is an imaginative read for children aged 3+. But, am sure, most parents present there would agree, it was a hit among us adults too. The book just piques on the curiosity and imagination of children who at that age are never afraid to imagine and dream things which may seem ridiculous to the logically trained older (in terms of age) brains.

The illustrations (by Roomani Kulkarni) are colourful and just apt for the interesting and breezy book that was narrated just as fabulously by the author herself. She kept the children (and the parents) in splits and engaged through the session. The ideas from the little ones that came out in the open as a result of imagination that was left to run amok during the hour spent was something that left me smiling long after the session was over.

The book comes as a bilingual (in 8 language combinations) with English being the common language along with one other regional language. By the time we got around to buying the book, the Tamil-English combination were sold out. So we ended up buying the English-Hindi one, also personalised for R by Arthi. Thanks, Arthi. It was a pleasure meeting you. Wish I'd remembered to take my camera along, I could have treasured the experience even better!

Needless to say, R loved the book and the entire journey back home (a long one at that) was spent going through the book over and over again.

That was Saturday evening. Another reason to smile was the famous Dastkar exhibition. Each year it comes up at Palace grounds which is way too far for us but this year it is being held at a place very near to where we stay. Obviously, I had no reason to stay away. So, I hitched up with my friend, to have a go at the exhibits on Sunday morning. Although, I hear that the entire spread this time is at a much lower scale owing to the last minute change in the venue, I completely loved the gorgeous display. Only, wondering how much better it usually is. We had a lovely time wading through the stalls that stocked everything from lovely hand-made jewellery to exquisite pieces of home decor to beautiful fabrics. We made some happy purchases, lapped up the visual treat and returned satisfied, albeit with a lighter wallet.

Do visit, if you get a chance. It is only upto the end of next weekend.

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A quick review

So, we are fast approaching the mid of August. Three-quarters of the year have flown by. The days are passing by so fast that I wonder if the earth is rotating in double its speed. I'd worry earlier about the end of a weekend with the Monday blues catching up with me on Sunday morning itself, but am no longer mopping at the end of a weekend. I've begun to realize that the week is also passing by in a super-sonic speed just as the weekends do. Before I realize it is Monday, it is Wednesday and then Friday!!! Part of the reason could be that now R goes to school and I look forward to the time I get in the mornings, so weekdays are good too :-)

I had planned a half-yearly review for myself this year, for this was the first time in my life that I had formally announced and drafted a to-do-list for this year. But June and July disappeared before I realized and so here I am at almost mid-August to take a look at how I scored. I am extremely thrilled to note that I haven't done bad at all. I have managed to cross out all but one of the five major tasks that I had planned to complete.

I had been ruminating over sending R to a playschool ever since he crossed 1 year and 8 months of age. It was around this time that his hyper-active nature was at its peak, with him climbing every space and pulling out things from every reachable shelf. I was going nuts and thought that some time away at a playschool would be the best option. However, somehow, the time just went by in just contemplation and we never got around to walk the talk.
I was always fascinated with the Montessori kind of schooling and wanted one for R too. Since R was past the age of 2 at the beginning of this year, to find the right playschool was our top priority. The first three months went in scouring the neighbourhood for a good playschool for R and resulted in a chance discovery of a Montessori near our home. We were delighted to see that it had all the qualities that I was looking for and quickly took the decision of enrolling R there.

This year proved lucky as it heralded the end of the woe most mothers face en-route to getting their little ones on the road to independence. My horror experience in getting R toilet trained culminated into a part success soon after year began. He achieved the milestone of getting potty trained sooner than I expected. The su-su part took longer to reach and while the lapses occur even now, especially at school, I'd say that R is almost trained for at least the time spent indoors, not considering the night time of course. The diapers are still used for outdoor and night time.  But that is not worrying me as of now. These will also be dealt with in time.

My long standing wish to travel abroad also came to be fulfilled this year when we planned our trip to Sri Lanka to celebrate five years of married life. I had great time planning the trip and travelling to our beautiful neighbourhood. If you missed reading the travelogue, you can catch up with it here.

Starting work part-time has been on my agenda for quite some time now and regretfully not yet crossed out. I do get a lot more "me" time after R began school, so, in my defense, I'd say, I did use it to scrape off the rust that had accumulated on the skills I hope to put to use now, to be monetarily productive. But, I need to reach out to more people and widen the network. Here's where I seemed to have slowed down. Hope to pull up the socks and buckle up before the year ends, so that I can boast of a full-marks score card.

All in all, I am pretty happy with my progress. This year has been good so far in terms of my blogging experience too. I enjoy putting down my thoughts and makes me even happier when my writings are well-received. The icing on the cake is meeting people who you connect with in the blogging world in the real world. I met my two of my blogger friends a few months ago and we had a great time. Looking forward to such meets in future.

So, how has this year been so far for all you guys?

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Son, you might want to know...

..that though I am not be recording this space about you very often, it doesn't mean a thing.

Your growth, development and milestones have become so much a part of our lives that I need to really sit down and think of how far you've come and what are the new feathers that don your cap. My frenzy ritual of checking with Babycentre updates every month slowed down soon after your first birthday and is gradually coming to a slow halt as I am no longer worried about how ahead or behind you are of your peers. Every new thing you learn, say or do is noticed and enveloped in our lives as a matter-of-fact but nevertheless consciously noted and cherished.

You love going to school everyday. Since we know this for a fact, we take the liberty to tease and test you often by saying, "oh! lets not send you to school today" only to hear the unfailing retort, "don't say that. I want to go to school". You probably do not realize the silly wave of pride that swells up in our heart. I hope and pray that the love to learn newer stuff never diminishes and the institutions you might attend at every stage of education continue to fuel the desire and provide sufficient and healthy nourishment to the mind and body.

While you still drive me nuts with your hyper-active nature, you are by far a reasonable and understanding child. You are easy with any change in the routine or schedule and adapt quite well to situations. I have realized that a time-out works as a power mantra to counter any tantrum or wrong behaviour (at least for now). Although you are getting smarter by the day, it is still relatively easy to distract or fool you into doing what I want you to do. Well, am going to enjoy this for as long as it lasts for I also know that it won't last very long. The question phase that was limited to hows and whats has (to my discomfort) extended to whys. Anything and everything is punctuated with a why. Only I know how ridiculous they sound!

You are learning the art of manipulation. Rather quite fast. When you are upset with either me or your father, you instinctively know how to deflate our respective egos and run to the other adult to garner support/empathy. That, your father and I are almost always on the same side when it comes to parenting rules quite simply defeats your strategy. But, you will learn that later. For now, this is cute.

A piece of conversation your father and I love to carry out with you:
Us: "R, do you love Amma more or Appa more?" or "R, do you want Appa or Amma?"
You: Amma, Appa, Ishabh! :-)
A true diplomat in the making???

Cars and other vehicles still remain your favourites. Your knowledge repository of car models is growing, with the newest addition being Dissan. No, that's not a typo. You pronounce it so..:-)

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About R and of being a parent

What is it with boys and cars?? R just cannot get enough of cars. Even when he was as young as one and a half yr old, he'd recognize the kind of vehicle (a car, truck, bike or auto) that would pass by below with the kind of noise they generated. The passion for cars has only grown over time and now he can recognize more than a dozen car brands along with the name of the manufacturer and the model. Though, it was me who lead him through the various models at our parking lot, the little student has gone ahead of the teacher. While I still need to look at the model label at the back for certain cars, R, seems to know it from the symbol and the shape of the car! A learning experience for me too, I'd say. 

If earlier, R spent a good deal of time watching the nursery rhymes and ABCs on the computer, now he is pouring it all out as a constant background score. The Wheel on the bus goes round and round is currently the hot favourite and my nerves are under immense pressure with the constant chime of the rhyme at all times of the day. This is besides the 'whats' and 'whys' that are thrown in for good measure.

Resisting for everything and anything has become second nature to R. Looks like it is a part and parcel of the tantrum age. From getting his teeth brushed to bathing to wearing his diaper to even getting ready for play, everything has become a matter of tug-of-war. His favourite word has shifted from "maatain" (No) to "vaendam" (No or don't want). Ask him anything and pat comes this reply. It can be fit into any phrase, any situation. It can sound completely meaningless and out of sync in certain situations. For instance, if he doesn't understand your question or doesn't want to answer, he'd just say "Vaendam". At other times, it simply becomes a chant like "amma vaendam/ appa vaendam/school vaendam/ etc etc".

He's growing up because he is no longer our baby who welcomes kisses and hugs anytime and every time. He's begun to assert himself even in this. I cannot cuddle, kiss or just hold him tight and close without his wish. He'll simply pull out of my embrace and say kisshi vaendam (no kisses) or konja vaendam (don't cuddle). Hmph!
Some amount of aggression (with us parents) is emerging too as is evident when he uses more of his hands and arms to convey his displeasure or discontent. Although he is still careful and reticent with kids outside of his "known circle", he was in particular bossy and boisterous with his cousin (my niece), when she was here. Is it a way of communication or a way to show that he considers you close enough? Either way, we are trying to deal with this behaviour.

Talking of dealing with parenting issues, one thing that bothers me is the way our (cannot generalize but I can talk for myself) parenting techniques reflect our behavioural pattern or temperament. I am a person who is innately reserved and withdraws when confronted with a more dominant or strong personality. Although now, after some conscious effort put in, I've been able to curb my innate tendencies, to be assertive and positive in my approach while dealing with people. But the inherent nature to hold myself back or to be unable to be myself in new surroundings is in some ways being trickled into R's upbringing. This happens more when I am myself at a place where the mother is a mere acquaintance and not a close friend of mine. I feel it is unfair on R and it will confuse him further on the right and wrong way of behaving. The saying, Might is right, cannot be more true for Gen Y and my heart fears for kids who are by nature a little soft and tolerant of others' misbehaviour. Our parents taught us to show restraint even when hit but to impart the same lesson to our kids seems like a crime. They also need to know that it is OK to retaliate in self-defense. And, how then to impart this education without it back-firing?

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Random ramblings

A shift from a set schedule to another one can be tough. It is like toppling the apple cart to fit in oranges and lemons and create the beautiful stack again. Yes, although the cart seems just enough for apples, the oranges and lemon have to somehow fit in too. And, one needs to be organized and skillful enough to have the cart look as neat as before. Well, if were a fruit seller, I'd have got a bigger cart instead of making my life difficult by trying to fit more into less. But of course these are just metaphorical and am only referring to the mortal me and the 24 hrs that are allotted to a single day and night cycle in our lives.

Struggling with re-organizing a house that has been recently pest-controlled, dealing with the time-shifts in my schedule due to R's school and a sudden bout of nasty cold and cough has left me with very less inclination to write when there is some time that is not ear-marked for other routine stuff. I just want to crash and zone out into dreamland. I am of course reading your posts sporadically and also try to leave a comment when I read a post. The urge in me to write even so much must mean that am really keen to maintain my presence here.

I want to do an update on R. He seems to be growing up so fast. He says some darn-est at times that leave us either stunned for words or giggling uncontrollably. When you are suffering from a dis-ease, all you can feel is life moving very fast around you while you are grappling to close your fist on the happenings. Bangalore too is weathering a bad phase, it seems. The rain Gods have turned up their noses at us Bangaloreans this year. The dark clouds loom and entice us with the hope of some respite in terms of weather and the much necessary underground water but then tease us into disappointment by disappearing to the bright blue sky a few moments later. In this, the city and I seem to be in some kind of symphony, both waiting to get into familiar conditions.


Posts out of randomness are becoming my thing now. But, of course, I seek to be excused. Writing, although a recent find in my list of hobbies, has grown to be a dear one. I haven't given my other skills as much time and love as I've to this one. To let this slip away into oblivion seems like letting a plant die after tending to it with much care and obsession. But, I attract  the infamous writer's block too very often even as I post regularly, so the upset routine has only thickened the block. So, if there is only randomness and nonsense for sometime here, do bear with me. I shall be back. In better shape and form.

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A task accomplished

It's been a busy busy schedule for me since a few days. Although I've been reading my favourite blogs on and off, I haven't been leaving comments. I have been making mental posts but am unable to translate them on the blog. Lack of time or enough interest and energy is something I haven't yet figured out. Thought I should break the jinx by just writing an update about what's going on.

I am on a strike-out spree. I have crossed out yet another major item off my 2012 list. Isn't that great? We have finally finalised a pre-school for R , which he would be joining this June onwards. It is a Montessori, something that I had always preferred over the more popular or regular playschools. Parents of children who attend a Montessori would empathise with why anyone would scour their neighbourhood for a lesser-known school (Montessori-es in my observation are not very popular. At least around where I stay) when there are so many regular and well-known names staring and screaming their presence in your face. In a complex where there are easily 500 odd children, I did not hear any word-of-mouth reference for a good Montessori. At least the ones I spoke to had never sent their (older) kids to a Montessori nor were in the process of looking out for one (in case of R's peers). Anyone I spoke to only gave out big names as their preferred choice. So, I had resigned myself to sending R to one of the regular KG (Kindergarten) pre-schools. However, fate had some other plans. A friend of mine had a chance encounter with an acquaintance who was seemingly happy about a Montessori school in our vicinity and recommended it. My friend knowing my preference for Montessori-es, promptly alerted me of the same. As luck would have it, by the time we approached the school, the admissions were already closed. The director with whom I corresponded over email was firm but kind. Upon my request, she suggested two other schools in my neighbourhood, out of which we chose one.

I had read up a bit on the Montessori way of teaching and was convinced of the many benefits that a Montessori provides over the regular KG approach.  Aparna (Life as a mom) would be able to empathise and explain much better, IMO. Do read her post which talks a bit about this wonderful method.  As for me, while I mostly had nothing major against any of the pre-schools that catered to the mainstream KG environment, the one thing that worried me was the practice of initiating writing Alphabets at an age as early as three or even 2.8 at some schools. Why does a child as young as that need to learn to write first? Also, most KG pattern does not follow the phonetics as a method to teach alphabets. The stress is to first start off writing Capital letters, spell words and then write cursive, in that order. The Montessori method in contrast teaches phonetics first and then the Alphabets. This encourages children to use the language correctly and develop a love for reading. Montessori way, I've read, also tackles the child as an individual also provides an all-round development by instilling life-skills like independence, discipline and respect for work in the children.

Of course, one needs to find a good Montessori and not just pick any school that claims to deploy these methods because then it carries the proverbial clever enemy being better than a foolish friend risk. The school we chose, apart from having the usual Montessori tools and Montessori trained teachers, is aesthetically very appealing. The rooms are spacious and naturally-lit. They also have an in-house library where the child (if the child is very young, then the parent) is allowed to pick a book to be read and returned to on the next day. I fell in love with this feature for it means that the children are encouraged to read books and not just repeat some rhymes as is the norm in the regular pre-schools. I just hope that we have chosen a genuine one and it proves to be a right one for R.

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A milestone and a cross-out

My first cross-out from the 2012 agenda has been done. A major one at that too. Any guess? Yes, my lil'one is now potty trained. It is almost a month now that he has achieved this milestone. The su-su part is still playing hide and seek but we are getting there too. Slowly but steadily.

For all the heart-ache I had over crossing this hurdle, it really seemed like a dream where R learned to use the potty within one week of us initiating the practice. I had backed off twice earlier, when he first just refused to even sit on it and later when I spotted his trouble of going the western way. We started off quite skeptically this time; the hubby too got involved (perhaps with greater interest than enthusiasm than me). However, we saw that R was far more willing. He didn't jump off the seat, even if the session didn't end up, err..fruitfully, if I can say that. On the fourth or fifth day, he did it successfully. I didn't jump too much. I thought it was a fluke and should not celebrate prematurely. But, he did again on the next day and continued to every single time and day for a week. He even started to warn us before susu happened! We were overjoyed to taste overnight success. Our boy was almost toilet-trained. But, like an evil-eye cast by our own joy, R stopped giving us su-su warnings just as suddenly as he began. Thankfully the potty thing was still on so we decided to count our blessings and be a little patient for the rest of the battle.

I admit it was frustrating to concede to the fact that it might take R a while to get a hang of the whole thing considering the fact that he HAD actually got it right for one whole week. Every time I was confounded by despair, I would cheer myself with the fact that R is trained for potty and that is not to say the least. It is a huge achievement in itself and no mean feat. I had to give the boy credit and applaud him for every time he used the potty for su-su too. This strategy did and still is working in bits and pieces. R is getting there slowly. Although I cannot guess the 'when' part because there are days when he gets it right 7 times on 10 and some days its 3 on 10 and yet on other days, none at all. So, my expectation graph more or less resembles the mountains we used to draw on paper as tiny tots. But, I am now relaxed with the routine and do not get over-worked if he doesn't get it 4 times out of 10. He is getting it right 6 times is well enough and we will eventually get it right all 10 times.

This book helped create a headway

And, I here by award R this certificate

So, yay for us!!!

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And thus...

I am back! I mean to Bangalore. I was away for so long that I was beginning to forget that I used to run a house all by myself. I was getting so used to having hot food in my hands that I remarked to my sister, only half in jest, that I wouldn't be surprised to discover that I have forgotten how to cook when I get back.

After spending close to two months in quick succession at the parents, I was having a tempo load of luggage to be taken back. Actually, not that many in number. My modest belongings comprised one particularly huge and hheeavvvvvvy suitcase and a few more smaller and comparatively lighter bags. My mom was especially worried of how I'll manage to load and off load them with a fidgety and restless toddler by the side. After a last minute panic-struck idea of taking an extra suitcase to even out the over-stuffed large suitcase was considered and voted out in cycles in a 5 member household, we said solemn goodbyes to each other and I left with R and the luggage in the cab (not tempo!). Dad came to see us off till the airport. We left well in advance considering the evening hr traffic, however we reached in record time of one hour. I don't remember any time when I covered this distance so fast in Mumbai that too in the evening. Seems like most of the roadies were out of town celebrating Christmas.

I checked in the baggage without trouble and for the first time since I booked tickets I didn't crib about the airlines charging a full ticket for a 2 year old. I just stopped short of the max. baggage limit for 2 passengers. I would have anyway paid a ticket's worth fine for excess baggage if not for a ticket for R and that would have killed me more. This way I was not guilty. The hour and a half long wait at the airport and the flight was uneventful (thankfully). I had imagined myself running after R and generally having a tough time but it was not so bad. Maybe because I was mentally prepared or maybe R was infact quite well-behaved during the journey. Really, I should give it to the brat. He was quite within his limits and not in his "going-berserk" state.

I placed two calls, one to the hubby and other to the cab guy to confirm their presence at the airport. The cabbie was already at the airport for his pick-up routine and was to be there until the time I arrived. It meant that I just had to call and he would be there when I landed at the airport. Hubby was also on his way. Which meant I just had to relax for the rest of the journey. I collected my baggage and wheeled towards the exit and turned to where hubby was waiting. And surprise of surprise, hubby welcomed me with a bouquet of flowers- for the first time so far in our married life. I have always maintained that while 'am quite filmy that way, hubby cannot care less for such gestures. Well...it's for nothing that they say, distance can make heart grow fonder. R was in a sleepy mode but as soon as he saw his dad, his eyes all lit up. His expression was like, "oh! where did this familiar guy come from all of a sudden after so many days", though I was constantly giving him updates about what is happening and what to expect. The comic part comes now. The cabbie came running up to us from the other direction and as he caught up, he said," arrey aap sahab ke taraf ja rahe the? main aapko kabse haath dikha raha tha!". In my mind I compared the situation to a scene where the heroine sidelines the villain and runs towards the hero in a dramatic sequence and found it so hilarious.

Seems like the Santa arrived belatedly to deliver the goodies bag to our house. The Santa, being hubby here of course. R got a bunch of clothes, books and toys. I got a pretty watch and a delicate pair of silver earrings and chain studded with artificial diamonds. And yes, lots of chocolates and stuff for others too...
A good note to end this year. Wishing you all a fulfilling and healthy 2012!

p.s. : I successfully completed a year of blogging a few days ago and happy to note that am still here!

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A short update

It's been more than week here now and things are far better, actually good when compared to the last time I was here. R had no adjustment problems this time and I am far more relaxed and enjoying my stay. The niece and R get along like a house on fire- always upto some mischief and conspiring against the other folks at home. While it is fun to watch them and also a relief to see the two kids playing more and squabbling less, it also means that the mayhem and chaos is twice as much as it would have been with a single toddler. At times, the situation gets quite out of control leaving each of us (older folks) silently thanking the "temporary" set-up.

It has been a more fruitful time for me in a way that I got some "me" time in which I accomplished some soul-satisfying knick-knack shopping, ate yummilicious chaat and caught up with some old friends over phone. Oh boy! don't these give you a high each time?

We are now getting ready to pack our bags and head to Bhubaneshwar this weekend to attend the cousin(A)'s wedding. A new city to be explored, some fun-times with cousin A after almost 2 years and of course the actual wedding. Finally, I am looking forward to this trip :-) So,guys, see you on the other side of the break.

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A roller-coaster ride

Oh! what a weekend it has been. I  landed at the parent's place in B'bay yesterday and boy I am glad that it was nearly uneventful. It has been a test of my nerves since Friday last.

Like any other evening, I was at the play area with R on Friday evening. R was his usual self, running and scampering around, with me close at his heels. It was nearing time to head back home when R wanted to play a little extra on the standing merry-go-round. No sooner did I place him down back on the ground than he shot off in a run. My friend N and her son V (around R's age) were a feet away and she beckoned him. It was that split second's delay that decided the course of the rest of the evening. I waited just that much time to see if R went to her before rushing off to run after him. By then it was little too late. R dashed off from underneath the slide and darted towards where some older kids were rocking pretty fast on the swing. He missed getting hit from one on coming swing only to get hit by the next one. I was almost there to hold him but was unable to save him from the blow. Oh! how this scene replayed later in my head several times and how I wished I was swifter.

R let out a cry immediately and I covered his head at the area where he got hit. My head was already swimming. Someone told me to sit on the bench nearby. As I sat down, I noticed the blood on R's head. My friend N told me to rush to the doctor's and offered to accompany me. I gladly accepted her help and we rushed on her two-wheeler to a clinic that was nearby. I could have taken the car. This was precisely why I wanted to learn to drive- help myself during emergencies. Of course I had not taken into account another important factor that is needed during such times. Enormous control over one's emotions and a cool head. I was not prepared in this faculty. I was just thankful for the friend's presence and hoped to God desperately that nothing was serious. R had meanwhile stopped crying but the blood was still oozing. It was not profuse but enough to scare me.

At the clinic, we were immediately shown into a ER where some nurses examined the wound. R began to holler here. I imagined he was in pain again but in hindsight I gathered that it was probably due to the hospital atmosphere and also innate skill of sensing an abnormal circumstance that kids have. I was tense and it was showing. I kept asking the nurses several times about the seriousness of the injury.

"Its a cut, will require stitches"

"stitches??..oh that serious..is it very deep..how many stitches?"

"The doctor will have to see. The orthopedic is seeing another patient, he'll will come. Did he have any vomiting or dizziness after the injury?"

 "No. No vomiting or dizziness.When will the doctor come? Is it not an emergency?"

"He'll come. It is not very serious. We do deal with such cases everyday. Don't worry."

I had three glasses of water meanwhile and was struggling to calm R whose decibel levels were jangling my nerves further. My mind resembled a question mark and was unable to muster faith in the words of the nurse, all the time doubting the capability of doctors and staff because no one showed any sense of urgency in attending to the case. Just then a pediatric came in and explained to me that since the head region has multiple layers of nerves and cells, even a slight injury can cause blood to flow. The area is in that sense cushioned by so many layers and only if the cut was very deep or it was compounded by vomiting/nausea/dizziness/convulsions there was cause for worry. My mind regained a sense of calm after this and we waited for the orthopedic to attend to the wound. R was also much calmer than earlier and was even talking. The ortho arrived after a couple of minutes and he pronounced the need for one stitch. He explained that he would give local anesthesia and then stitch. R began to cry again and refused to sit still. I thought he was scared and suggested that I held him while the doctor did the needful. But this was not to be. R kept jumping on my lap and shaking his head and I, with all my might too, was unable to calm him and hold his head in one position. The nurses and the doctor decided that it was enough and the nurse brought out a blanket, wrapped R in it, placed him in a lying position and three of them held him tight on the bed. Phew! we were all glad when it was over. Bandaging seemed quite impossible after this and so the doctor just sprayed an ointment that would produce a thin film over the wound and asked me to keep the area dry.

Just as we got over this episode, R sprained his arm on Sunday evening. I had called two of my friends along with their family over for the usual navaratri "vettalai paaku". R was playing ringa-ringa-roses with A and A's dad. He sat down before everyone finished with "all fall down", so A's dad just gave a little tug to his hand to lift him up and R began to cry soon after. He generally doesn't cry without any reason so we were all concerned when the crying didn't stop after repeated distractions. It was not a non-stop cry of pain. He would whimper for a while and then accelerate for a while. Suspecting a sprain we took him to the ER of the hospital where he usually takes his vaccines. They took an X-ray to rule out any dislocation and thankfully when none were found, prescribed a gel for the sprain.

The weekend was packed with enough hospital visits, though I can't thank God enough that they were not grave. Only, it had me a little jostled and worried about the flight I was to take with R alone to B'bay on Tuesday. Well, let me say we came in one piece without any more drama. R seems to be missing the familiar surrounding and his dad. He is not even moving well with his pati whom he had just met and adjusted to well a month ago. He's unusually clingy, quiet and not in his elements but he brightens upon seeing my niece S who is just a year older to him. So, hoping that he would settle in a couple of days.

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