Random musings

What does growing up mean to you? Does it or should it rob you of all the intrinsic qualities that a human is supposed to have? Of the warmth, the empathy, the silliness quotient that sneaks in naturally when you are with people you grew up with, the joy of connecting with a long lost friend or acquaintance, of basic courtesies that is expected when a certain level of communication has been established, the list seems endless.

Yet, these qualities are lost on certain people when they reach a certain stage in life. When they can no longer connect to that part of life they grew up in, relate to people who were once their companions, relate to emotions, traditions or a belief system that they were once a part of. They call it growing up. They also call it independent thinking, living and maturing. 

But, of what purpose is such grown-up attitude or maturity if you cannot look back and laugh. If you do not have someone you can share nostalgia with. If you cannot connect the dots in your life and the sense of void created by people who got left out on your journey seems bigger than the sense fulfillment derived from the ones who joined you.

True, people grow in many ways, change in many other ways and that is the way life is. It is also needed to discard excess baggage, disconnect or distance self from ones that no longer fit into your way of thinking to maintain a sane existence. But life has a way of leaving its scars. Of reminding you of the past connects, relations, mistakes, friends, acquaintances, embarrassing moments, happy moments, and sad moments. How you deal with these scars define you as a person. How you've dealt today will be very different from a few years ago.

I'd say if you are a better person that you were a few years ago, you are growing. If you are able to forgive yourself for the little faults in you, you are growing. If you are able to oversee the failures and take a step to correct your mistakes, you are growing. If you're willing to oversee the others' fault, you've truly matured. If you have earned well-wishers along the way who are genuinely happy to see you grow, you've succeeded, but if you've also managed to keep and value the ones who were once a part of your journey, you've then truly succeeded.

The story of her life

She wipes the sweat from the brow,
her hands suffer everyday blow,
She smiles through pain,
and hopes to bargain
a life better for her children,
a pucca house,
a caring spouse.

Life can never be simple
when money as little
flows just as a trickle
slipping into crevices in mockery;
a debris of unending poverty

Tides of sorrow rise in count
sprinkling little joys, as pittance.
Seeking the shore, hopes surmount
only to break in an even dance

A happy home is all she wants,
but is far from what she gets
Mind and body sport several scars
given by the mister, a rouge above par

The house crumbles under, 
when children too move afar
all the trouble now seem in vain
for alas! she lost the bargain.


Strange are the ways of some, who invariably think thus:

When you are hurt, the world is victimizing you
but when others are hurt, the world is trivializing the issue

How do you handle a child who is constantly bullying a few kids in your neighbourhood? I may get some tips on this over the net, but I want to know how to handle the mother who seems to be blind to the errant kid's act, covers it up saying its all child's play and reverses the entire blame to the rest of the parent community who she thinks is singling out her child unnecessarily?

As a parent we all love our kids and cannot imagine them being at fault. However, should love be so binding that you cannot even recognize a fault that unfolds right under your nose? As a parent of one of the victims of the bully, here is an open letter to the mother.

Dear Parent,

I understand that you have some bones to pick with me since you believe that I have reprimanded or even keep reprimanding your child for no fault of his. I need to tell you that I don't go about reprimanding random children at the playground. 

However, you need to know that your child bullies others. If your child keeps bullying my child, I can only ignore it for a couple of times, which I did. The third time is when I walked up to your child and asked him why he behaves the way he does. If you think your child did not deserved to be asked such a valid question, I am sorry to say that you are wrong in your thinking. If you feel your child did no wrong by bullying, and then I am aghast at your thinking and shudder to imagine what is in store for you and your child. If you feel what your child does, does not fall into the category of bullying, I suggest you educate yourself more over here.

Your child needs help, but if you continue to behave the way you do, then please take my humble advice- you need more help.

Your well-wisher.