My son turned one recently. My friends whose first-borns are around my son’s age are already thinking of or are considering having a second. I feel I am done.
My close friend was aghast when I revealed to her my feelings. She felt I am being mean to my first child by depriving him of a sibling.
I can’t help it if I cannot feel the need or urge to have a second kid. Is it really being mean? I am not sure. We are planning to buy a house. I am a stay-at-home mother hence just one income flowing into the household. A decent schooling these days burns a hole in your pocket. Now, I am not exactly saying that having a second kid will reduce us to a hand-to-mouth existence. But it will definitely put a strain on our resources. Above all this, I cannot quite bring myself to go through the whole process of being pregnant, the delivery, breast-feeding, sleepless nights, potty-training once again. Sleepless nights are not even over yet with the first and I have not even begun potty-training.
Yes, maybe I am being mean. I probably don’t have a strong maternal hormone in me. But this does not make me a bad mother. I love my son truly. He is a friendly and easy kid as of now, though quite hyper-active. He keeps me busy all day. I genuinely enjoy being with him and want to give my all to see him grow into a mature, responsible and sensitive adult.
Who says single kids grow into selfish adults? I can give examples of some selfish adults who didn’t have a dearth of siblings. Who says only kids with siblings learn to share? Those days mingling with other families who have kids were very rare. These days, thanks to a nuclear set-up, every other weekend is spent with friends. Who says only-kids become alone when the parents are gone? I think nowadays kids are naturally quite independent and the parents are gone mentally even before age takes them away physically once the kids reach the teens or pre-teens. I am already considering enrolling myself in an old-age home when the time comes as I do not want to be a burden- emotionally and financially-on my child and do not want him to have feelings of guilt and helplessness.
Maybe I have an answer to everything. Maybe I have searched within for answers or maybe they are excuses. Maybe I might change my mind altogether and go for a second one. But it will not be for the above reasons. The second will not be a missing piece of a jig-saw, just to fill up something. It has to be as desirable as the first. Only then. Till then, one and only.
My close friend was aghast when I revealed to her my feelings. She felt I am being mean to my first child by depriving him of a sibling.
I can’t help it if I cannot feel the need or urge to have a second kid. Is it really being mean? I am not sure. We are planning to buy a house. I am a stay-at-home mother hence just one income flowing into the household. A decent schooling these days burns a hole in your pocket. Now, I am not exactly saying that having a second kid will reduce us to a hand-to-mouth existence. But it will definitely put a strain on our resources. Above all this, I cannot quite bring myself to go through the whole process of being pregnant, the delivery, breast-feeding, sleepless nights, potty-training once again. Sleepless nights are not even over yet with the first and I have not even begun potty-training.
Yes, maybe I am being mean. I probably don’t have a strong maternal hormone in me. But this does not make me a bad mother. I love my son truly. He is a friendly and easy kid as of now, though quite hyper-active. He keeps me busy all day. I genuinely enjoy being with him and want to give my all to see him grow into a mature, responsible and sensitive adult.
Who says single kids grow into selfish adults? I can give examples of some selfish adults who didn’t have a dearth of siblings. Who says only kids with siblings learn to share? Those days mingling with other families who have kids were very rare. These days, thanks to a nuclear set-up, every other weekend is spent with friends. Who says only-kids become alone when the parents are gone? I think nowadays kids are naturally quite independent and the parents are gone mentally even before age takes them away physically once the kids reach the teens or pre-teens. I am already considering enrolling myself in an old-age home when the time comes as I do not want to be a burden- emotionally and financially-on my child and do not want him to have feelings of guilt and helplessness.
Maybe I have an answer to everything. Maybe I have searched within for answers or maybe they are excuses. Maybe I might change my mind altogether and go for a second one. But it will not be for the above reasons. The second will not be a missing piece of a jig-saw, just to fill up something. It has to be as desirable as the first. Only then. Till then, one and only.
