How to not write- #YeahWrite377

Image source: https://pixabay.com/en/pencil-sharpener-notebook-paper-918449/

Yell at the household for not doing their bit to tidy the mess. You end up wasting time you’d rather spend writing, this you remind them with accusatory fingers.

Decide today that the cleaning can wait. Open the word document. Remind yourself that there is a quick link to it on the desktop status bar.

Stare at the clean slate. Then stare some more. Blink away the saline droplets that are threatening to spill over the edge of the pool your eyes are swimming in. Convince yourself that you’ll find the words to translate these tears one day.

A fresh mind works, always. It’s a voice you sometimes hear.

Close the empty space before you and step into the doors of Facebook or whatever that’s enchanting and welcoming at that point.

Get swept away in the avalanche of advice by wannabe experts that generously share their wisdom on everything from gardening to making babies, from meditation to taking out the garbage the right way.

Let your head spin in the overdose of virtual hobnobbing and hit the bed with a mid-day hangover.

Take a break, come back rejuvenated, implores the same sagacious voice. Check. Writing breaks in your life now are pretty much regular guests that overstay their visit.

Read other writers for inspiration. It’s an advice that cannot be ignored. So, curl up and lose yourself in the labyrinths of splendid prose and poetry. The pen you hold, heavy with envy and self-pity, embarrasses you with its juvenile craft.

Sigh. Glance up in time to the sun slipping under the inky covers and jump off to chop your thoughts for dinner.

An idea sprouts up unexpectedly just as the soft paneer goes under the gleaming knife. Swiftly scoop it up before it blends into in the simmering curry before you. Take quick strides to plant the seed into the still-open Word.doc but bump mid-way into your sulking pre-teen.  

You lose just a split-second in deciding to nurture your fledgling, an adult-in-progress, over saving the germ of a story. The latter, though, wastes no time in slinking away.

You’re left to contend with a clean document and a dirty house.

Read More

Taking the next step

Source Image

I've been blogging for more than five years now but only for the last couple of years, ever since the blogging community witnessed changes in the way bloggers projected and promoted their blogs, I've been wondering about my position and future.

While I loved to write, I was unnerved by the commitment, dedication, and aggression shown by the new-age, serious bloggers who are brand ambassadors of their blogs in a true sense. It was a new dimension for someone like me who had considered blogging akin to casually journaling random thoughts; solely as a form of catharsis and not really worrying about the impact of the written word on the reader/writer community.

As with any change, I found myself self-doubting, fraught with insecurities and consequently slipping into bouts of non-writing phases or half-hearted posts. I hesitated to go all out there and place myself under the harsh lights of scrutiny and competition. It meant I had to take stock and re-evaluate my present skills and future goals rather than meandering mindlessly. This took time.

My non-blogging phases, if anything, taught me one vital thing. That, I was unhappy when not writing. Secondly, I found my strongest supporter in my spouse. He has been a constant source of encouragement and has always given me sage advice. He's my soundboard and every time I voiced out a feeling of inadequacy, he knocked it off gently. He would constantly remind me about the need to shun self-criticism and work on building what I already have. While I'm scared of dreaming big, he urges me to believe more in myself and keep nurturing the skill without hoping for things to fall in place in the immediate future. For this, I'm ever so grateful to him.

Taking my writing and blogging to the next step largely means letting more and more people know that I blog. I need people to take notice and for that, I need to venture out into the open. The smallish network of bloggers I had initially built had disintegrated since many of them don't blog anymore or do so sporadically. I need to create a bigger and stronger network in the blog world if I want to sustain. That I'd also need to allow a dedicated time for regular blogging is implicit.

At this point, I need to thank another person who entered my life unobtrusively as a quiet guiding force. Shailaja (she doesn't need any introduction, does she?) has been instrumental in helping me shrug off the hesitancy. Whether it was directing me to sites on writing prompts, or sharing her own expertise in matters of social media and organized writing, or introducing me to a wonderful workplace, she has been generous in giving. She was the one who planted the seed of purchasing a custom domain for the blog in my head. It is, I learnt, one of the ways to give myself the visibility I desire and build a brand image for my blog.

Thank you, Shailaja, for all that you've done and continue to do for me.

So that, my friends, is how I came to purchase a custom domain for my blog. While I do not have any grand goals for my writing as yet, I have come to realize that, for my own satisfaction, I need to blog/write; better and consistently. And, to that effect, there's no harm in being a more disciplined blogger, serious about sharpening the knives. If nothing, I'll always benefit from the knowledge.

If you find me slacking off again, feel free to whack err. remind me about this post.

*****

I'd love to hear your story/thoughts about how you came to self-host or purchase a custom domain for your blog.

Would you consider purchasing if you haven't already?

Read More

A page from a diary

Original Image Source

The chill of the mid-morning breeze hits my face as I gingerly push open the french doors of the living room. I can feel the goosebumps on my naked hands. The hot tumbler of coffee and the vibrant swing in my verandah cajole me to ignore the stuffed nose and dull ache in my head. The fragrant vapour from the tumbler caresses the face, acting as a soothing balm for my stressed muscles. I close my eyes to savour the strong beverage slowly, letting it melt away the sluggishness of the mind and body.

 As I gently rock on the swing, the view of the neighbourhood that's cut from the ground realities fills me with mixed senses. It seemed perfect if not for some ugly truths. I can choose to dwell on the superficial. In a way, the outside reflected the inside of my mind. On some days I prefer to gaze contentedly at the calm surface. On other days I'm swept by the strong tide into murkier waters. Several thoughts flit across my mind as the tumbler lies now cold and empty in my hand. I muse on life and other related things.

Aspirations in life present many a conundrum. I wonder if a sense of misplaced belonging is one of them. You're aiming for a particular altitude and when you reach it, you're left wondering if that's where you want to be. The place seems strange and a bit cold. Being pushed against a glittering backdrop, I feel jaded. It takes a while to get acclimatised, I reason out. I step back to lick my wounds, to ruminate over choices. The life I left behind is not the same anymore. There are people I do not relate to. However, they seem to be looking up to me. It's discomforting in a way since I'm seeking something else. Or not? I'm not sure anymore.

It's life that lets you hanker after a coveted object. It has an uncanny knack of granting you your wish in ways least expected (or even desired), and also possibly when you are least prepared to receive it. It's life that presents you a raw clay, goading you to carve that dream. It's also the life that takes the air out of the balloon as you pluck it from the soaring skies.

You can choose to lament over the deflated balloon or gather strength in your lungs and breathe life into it. Again.

****

In life, you assume many roles and in the act of juggling, you can lose perspective. Myriad thoughts grip you, paralysing the ability to rationalise.

Sometimes, it's best to have the disjointed thoughts connect as they flow out. You never know when they could make a beautiful tapestry.

Did you like this page out of a diary? Could you relate to it in any way?

Read More

Things to watch out as you transition into a bigger platform

Image source

Two seemingly disparate thoughts had been playing out in my mind but as I dwelled deeper I realized that they were intrinsically bound together. A transition by my 6-year-old into first grade and my writing. Quite an unlikely pair of thoughts to share a connection, right? Allow me to explain.

R has begun first grade this year. Now, I've come to understand that for kids and parents, this comes as a fairly huge step from the more cocooned atmosphere of a preschool. The subjects to learn branch out into several from the 3 or 4 main ones in pre-kg. There are also different subject teachers that the kids need to interact with as opposed to just a couple in the early years. Since the kids are entering a more independent phase, they are also being trained to be more responsible. That translates into self-written homework notes in the school diary (under the teacher's guidance) and being able to handle a bit of a burst in studies and related activities. So, in a nutshell, there's a bit of a change that the kids (and their parents) need to come to terms with.

Now, this already tricky combination of factors gets amplified if the child has been in a different preschool or preschooling environment; the adaptation or changes can get a bit more trying.  While children are natural adapters to situations and circumstances, it's the adults who seem more like the spoilt brats.

Feelings of insecurity, apprehensions about choices made, comparisons with the erstwhile environment, anxiety over the child's future, were thrown out in the raw, discussed, and dissected. In this, two sets of parents emerged clearly. One that subscribed to these feelings and the other, including me, that did not. While I empathize with the other set and concede that these feelings are natural, I do wish the parents showed some patience in the system and faith in their own choice. Any transition, minor or major, takes time and as parents, we are required to assume to role of the unwavering, solid anchor in the lives of our children who are making forays into the wider world.

As I thought more about this, I realized that what I wished in the above scenario applied perfectly well to my other line of thought. My writing! I've been struggling with writing and only lately I'm beginning to emerge out of this seemingly long span of writer's block, self-doubts, anxiety, and insecurity.

My short span of 5 years of blogging witnessed a lot of changes in the way this enigmatic world of words and connections functioned. I had lived a cocooned life of blogging and was happy in my own frog world. As I got thrown out into deeper waters of powerful writers, social media connections, and unending possibilities of gratification and personal growth, I faltered. Like the village belle making her way in a larger city, I was initially attracted to a larger platform and I dreamed of making a mark for myself. It was a period of transition for me. A big one. Yet, I did not show the patience in the system or the faith in my abilities. I made the mistake of not making the effort to forge new connections or trust the ones I had. I was new, insecure, and doubted my own capabilities.

It's been months of introspection and objective thinking where I've consciously tried to steer clear of the path of self-pity and low self-worth.

Two very contrasting situations found a common root in my mind and I thought I should file away these learnings here.

10 pointers that we could all keep in mind in face of a big transition:

1. Observe how the new system works
2. Take help from the veterans
3. Voice your fears but refrain from feeling victimized
4. Give yourself time to make new connections
5. Adapt to changes in working styles
6. The new is not necessarily evil and the old is not always gold
7. Accept that acquired skills may be rusty and need a reevaluation
8. Expect delays in learning
9. Have faith in your choice
10. Be patient 

Do you agree with these or did you think I was rambling? Do share your thoughts. And, oh, if you didn't notice already, I changed the look of my blog. New learnings and beginnings need to look good on the outside too, right? Did you like the look?

Linking the post to the Yeah Write#274 weekly challenge for Non-Fiction category

Read More

Tracking the chain of thoughts

The house is quiet, earlier than usual. The routine has been usual for me. Picking up old newspapers, shoving them into the closet, putting back the sundry lotions, face powder, and knick-knacks into the dresser, collecting the clothes strewn around and sorting them out. These are programmed into my body and my limbs automatically carries out the tasks.

Voices in my brain complain and reason out alternatingly. Another track in my brain is thinking about a possible topic for a post on my blog. Ideas gather in an unruly manner, jostling to get ahead, vying for attention. I try to accommodate, give justice to each of them, fatigued in the end, not finding anything worth writing about. The train of thought pauses to ponder about my worth as a blogger. I shake my head to dust off the doubts. It shouldn't matter.

Image Source

A quick scan around the house registers a sense of orderliness. Satisfied, I spend a moment to appreciate what I see. It's a bitter-sweet feeling. Feelings of displaced and disappointment are mixed with gratitude and pride. This wasn't how it was supposed to end up. Is the feeling of 'homecoming' illusionary?

I open my laptop. My newsfeed, online and offline, is filled with people changing places, figuratively and literally. I look back. My life in snippets flashes by. I remember dreamy conversations with my bestie from our college times. How differently our lives panned out, changed courses, switched tracks. Life always surprises you. In good ways too.

I'm in an unusually lazy mode today. My mind is pushing me to write. Something. Anything. My blog dashboard is gleaming with fresh ones from my favourites and I sit to read them. Today, I've decided to savour the leisure, to cast away the self-imposed schedules of the day,  to be a little indulgent, to procrastinate, to laze, to take the time out to read and write.

A random post for today. I've tried something new. Could you sense anything different?

Read More

5 ways to move beyond your writing faux pas

Writing blunders. Don't we all make them? If you don't then maybe this piece won't make any sense to you. I can speak for myself and I've no qualms admitting that I make a whole lot of them. On my blog here, in my work-related writing, over formal and informal emails, there have been instances of minor and even gaping flaws.

So, how long do I dwell on my writing faux pas?

Image source

Each time I've realized the shortcomings, I've cringed. My ego is bruised and I cower in embarrassment to think of how I might seem to others. I imagine the sniggers directed towards me; someone who claims to be a writer and yet has not pocketed the nuances and finer aspects of the trade.

Despite this, I sleep over my failings. I brood, sulk, but emerge out of the shadows of self-berating and criticism. To write again. To falter again. It does not happen as easily or automatically as it sounds. Nevertheless, I try not to dwell too much on the damage already done. The more important part is to learn from those and move on. Perhaps, to make newer mistakes; perhaps, to write better.

It has taken me many years to learn to accept my limitations. I don't say I've been able to do this entirely even today. Yet, I'm on the path. Slowly, but steadily. A few decades ago, I'd have stopped trying. Shaming myself privately and losing the courage to pick the pieces up. Today, I at least, I look beyond what could've been and focus on what can be done.

5 Things that I tell myself when I'm too harsh on myself:

1. Accept the fact that there will always be more talented people in my circle.

I realized that I cannot learn if I constantly pit myself against the best. I can only better myself not be better than someone else. It's also unfair to myself.


2. I may not be the best but I'm still good

My field of choice is a large galaxy and we are all at different levels like the planets in orbit. The position of a particular planet does not make it superior or inferior to the others.

This is something I'm still working on. For, I lapse into phases where I tell myself if I'm not at a particular level I shouldn't be trying at all.

3. Set goals but embark on an unconditional journey

While it's good to lay down goals, if we lay down pre-conditions that I have to be 'this' good or I'm no good at all, we might not start on any journeys in life.

I have a problem in setting specific goals. And, I'm not talking only about writing goals. It's because I'm scared to think big; because I pull myself back saying when there are so many better ones out there struggling what better can I do?

4. Goals can be smaller ones. Celebrate every milestone.

So, my answer to the previous point is that I need not think big. I can start with smaller achievable goals and take it from thereon. I need to allow myself to pat my back for every little milestone I achieve along the way. This way the journey itself will become enjoyable and I won't be worried about the destination.

5. Enjoy the journey and don't worry about the destination.

Didn't I say that already? I'm going to tell this again and again. To myself and to everyone out there like me.

What's your mantra to forgive your mistakes and move on?

Read More

What to write?

Image courtesy: Pixaby.com

Blogger tells me it's been more than 45 days since my last post. I try to log on to blogger and for a few minutes, I'm unable to find the dashboard to my blog. I experience a few moments of panic. With that comes a sudden realization that much as I neglect this space, the thought that it should be taken away from me forever disturbs me. The human mind is funny. You give it something, it doesn't acknowledge it. You take it away, it wants that 'something' more than ever before. 

I get a lot of blog ideas when I'm chopping veggies or cooking. They are clouds of disparate thoughts gently moving with the push of the wind. I try to freeze the thoughts for a later time in the day when I might be able to elaborate on them here. But in the time between finishing my cooking, other chores, writing for my workplace and getting to my personal space here, I realize that I probably don't want to talk about those thoughts anymore. They now seem insignificant or irrelevant.

I look back on my previous posts to try and identify my strong areas. Topics that I might have touched upon frequently, posts that may have been liked and read by more people. What I see amazes and terrifies me. I don't have a genre. I have written on random topics; from maids to shopping dilemmas to fiction to parenting. I cannot categorize my blog. I don't specialize. I have no authority on any subject. It's freeing but also frightening because without a direction you often get lost which is what is happening to me. It's also sad because I don't give my readers any motivation or reason to keep coming back for more. I've nothing specific to offer; no tips, no solutions, no literature, no comic relief.  Random is what I specialize in. Perhaps rants too. And, of late, posts that lament the loss of writing mojo. Maybe, I could specialize on that ;-)

So, let me figure out how much more random I want to get. In the meanwhile, if you thought I wrote well on a particular topic, please do tell me. Sometimes, others can see what you can't, isn't it? 

Read More

Trying to re-boot

This space is becoming a forgotten place. Like an old garden that is dying for want of a gardener and happy people loitering around. Every now and then I try to revive what was once my favourite hobby. Either, I'm running out of sufficient water to keep the space from drying or I've lost the interest. Both seem like a probable reason to me.

Today, after a long time, I opened my blogger dashboard; found some familiar blogs with fresh posts; ran down the nostalgic lane when one person's post for the day would provide fodder for someone else's post and we would happily greet one another, hopping in and out of each other's spaces.

Somewhere, I strayed away to explore newer zones and found myself misplaced amongst a crowd that is far more energetic and brimming with ideas.

I preferred the lazy times where a lot more personal snippets (giving a glimpse of each other's lives and personalities) were shared at a leisurely pace and we got ample time to socialize within the community. I'm not saying such an environment is no longer available. Just that I got suddenly surrounded by an urgent need to live up to a certain image/brand/whatever-you-call-it, either self-created or accidentally designed. I tried to keep pace, but soon lost steam and got left behind.

I'm trying to find my original pace and groove while keeping my eyes open to spotting familiar faces who might also remember me and want to give me company again.

Hoping to revive this space once again and this time for a longer run.

Read More