The house is quiet, earlier than usual. The routine has been usual for me. Picking up old newspapers, shoving them into the closet, putting back the sundry lotions, face powder, and knick-knacks into the dresser, collecting the clothes strewn around and sorting them out. These are programmed into my body and my limbs automatically carries out the tasks.
Voices in my brain complain and reason out alternatingly. Another track in my brain is thinking about a possible topic for a post on my blog. Ideas gather in an unruly manner, jostling to get ahead, vying for attention. I try to accommodate, give justice to each of them, fatigued in the end, not finding anything worth writing about. The train of thought pauses to ponder about my worth as a blogger. I shake my head to dust off the doubts. It shouldn't matter.
A quick scan around the house registers a sense of orderliness. Satisfied, I spend a moment to appreciate what I see. It's a bitter-sweet feeling. Feelings of displaced and disappointment are mixed with gratitude and pride. This wasn't how it was supposed to end up. Is the feeling of 'homecoming' illusionary?
I open my laptop. My newsfeed, online and offline, is filled with people changing places, figuratively and literally. I look back. My life in snippets flashes by. I remember dreamy conversations with my bestie from our college times. How differently our lives panned out, changed courses, switched tracks. Life always surprises you. In good ways too.
I'm in an unusually lazy mode today. My mind is pushing me to write. Something. Anything. My blog dashboard is gleaming with fresh ones from my favourites and I sit to read them. Today, I've decided to savour the leisure, to cast away the self-imposed schedules of the day, to be a little indulgent, to procrastinate, to laze, to take the time out to read and write.
A random post for today. I've tried something new. Could you sense anything different?
Voices in my brain complain and reason out alternatingly. Another track in my brain is thinking about a possible topic for a post on my blog. Ideas gather in an unruly manner, jostling to get ahead, vying for attention. I try to accommodate, give justice to each of them, fatigued in the end, not finding anything worth writing about. The train of thought pauses to ponder about my worth as a blogger. I shake my head to dust off the doubts. It shouldn't matter.
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A quick scan around the house registers a sense of orderliness. Satisfied, I spend a moment to appreciate what I see. It's a bitter-sweet feeling. Feelings of displaced and disappointment are mixed with gratitude and pride. This wasn't how it was supposed to end up. Is the feeling of 'homecoming' illusionary?
I open my laptop. My newsfeed, online and offline, is filled with people changing places, figuratively and literally. I look back. My life in snippets flashes by. I remember dreamy conversations with my bestie from our college times. How differently our lives panned out, changed courses, switched tracks. Life always surprises you. In good ways too.
I'm in an unusually lazy mode today. My mind is pushing me to write. Something. Anything. My blog dashboard is gleaming with fresh ones from my favourites and I sit to read them. Today, I've decided to savour the leisure, to cast away the self-imposed schedules of the day, to be a little indulgent, to procrastinate, to laze, to take the time out to read and write.
A random post for today. I've tried something new. Could you sense anything different?
I like how you made a parallel - life and its different tracks... with the tracks related to our train of thoughts. I have a noisy mind too... that doesn't stop thinking and forever trains are chugging about! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Dee, welcome here :-) I'm glad you could relate to what I wrote. yes, our minds are so noisy we sometimes need to get the noise out here, right?
ReplyDeleteI checked out your blog and loved what you wrote about writing and reading others.
Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
Great post thaank you
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