Sweet nothings to reminisce about after a visit home

No matter how old you grow and how long it's been since you left home after marriage, your parents will always treat you special and will try to recreate the atmosphere like you'd never left. 

Usually, if the husband is not travelling with me, Appa insists on picking me up and seeing me off at the airport. And, I always argue knowing only too well in my heart he won't listen. This time, it was Amma who insisted and both of them ended up coming to the airport to see me off :-)

It's sweet to see how Amma feeds the crows and pigeons that feast heartily at a specially made food table outside the kitchen window. The food vanishes within just a few moments of serving. The regulars take the liberty of cawing hungrily and demanding food or more food on certain days and Amma smiles and obliges.

A visit home is never complete without the mandatory gorging on chats and vada pav and binge shopping. Gratifying to say that this was checked off the list this time too!

Love the way my niece and R bond together. They are an explosive pair, just a year apart and similar in nature. They can be more than a handful to handle for the ones in whose care they are in but the sibling love and camaraderie between them is beautiful.

Snaps from a few years back

This time, R decided to stay back for a few more days and we had long discussions about how he felt about it. From "Yes, I'll stay. No worries. You go" to "Amma, I want to play for some more days with S. But, I'll miss you. So, can't we shift here forever?" and "Please, tell Appa to find a job here!"

The conversation would take a different shape at other times,
"It has to be my plan and not your plan of my staying back with pati and periamma!" to "I don't want to come home with K periappa. Ask Appa to come and pick me up" to "Ok, then, but, don't forget to come to the Airport to pick me up!"

His innocent questions, concerns, and a constant plea to shift base tugged at my heartstrings. Finally, he made sure it was "his" plan to stay back! I was certainly proud to see my little boy, all of 6 years, weighing the pros and cons carefully and taking a big decision. I'd worry that he was a little too casual when it came to people and relationships. How wrong I was! He definitely has that tender spot in his heart and understands and expresses his vulnerability. 

It felt so strange to travel alone that day. Getting used to a quiet house too took some time. Yet, I'm grateful for my sister for coming up with the plan and showing the confidence to see it through. R had always bonded with my parents and sister indirectly; as a by-product of my relationship with them. While he shares a separate and special bond with S, my parents have been more of S's grandparents and my sister more of S's mother. I wanted that to change and this arrangement gives the perfect ambience for a direct bond with them to grow roots. 

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The siblings

R and S, as I've mentioned earlier too, are a deadly combination. In some ways, they are quite alike and in other ways completely different. Both of them have mastered the part about keeping the adults in the house on their toes and tender hooks. Each has its own way of creating trouble and mischief. So, you can imagine how explosive the situation can get when two such minds combine!

Last year R lacked the social-cognitive skill to play along with S. Although he'd want S's company, he was unable to express himself or understand the concept of collective play. However, that is changed this year and it is amusing to see the two converse and pretend play. Of course, he is still a little too boisterous for S and this leads to many a ugly fight and frantic adult intervention.

I see that R gets a kick out of teasing his elder cousin! The more S gets whiny, the more he acts bossy and plays rough! It is a very crazy situation and it takes a lot of restraint and effort on my part to diffuse the tension. On the other side, he is also quite possessive of S and doesn't quite like it when he has to share S with another kid. This side to R was a new discovery for me and I realized it yesterday when S had her birthday celebrations at home. It was a small affair with just a couple of S's friends, also her neighbours, had come over.

The moment S's friend, lets call her X,came in and S showed a preference to play with her, R began to act all crazy. He was extra rough with X by falling all over her, pulling at her dress and generally making quite a nuisance of himself. X is made of tougher material herself and was hardly perturbed but S was quite upset with the whole change in the scenario. Things got out of control after a while and I had to intervene and pull R out of the scene. It disturbed me also to see R behaving in such a manner. Later, it was my bro-in-law who sensed that it is was perhaps the jealous streak that led R to behave such.

Sibling bonding can surely be awe inspiring and nerve racking at the same time!

   

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Kids!

Anyone out there who thinks it is great to have two kids close in age to one another, please do not read any further because I am just about to pour out all the angst two such kids are giving me us at the moment.

S and R are very similar in nature. Meaning, both have a similar disposition with respect to the amount of mischief they can create. They are a handful even on their own (though they can be handled individually), so just imagine the chaos and mental trauma for the rest of the adult folk when these two get together. They are a deadly combination. Each teaches the other newer tricks and the two build up on them. While S talks non-stop all day, R cannot stop moving. He forever wants to be on the go or be in a vehicle that is on the go. Being stationary is not a part of his dictionary. And when they squabble with each other, you might want to tear your head and dash off the house. Mostly they get along pretty well. Which makes life tougher for us, coz all the trouble doubles up. By time you are done reprimanding one, the other is onto a different sort of mischief. All the talk about they looking cute when they play, is done by people who have nothing to do with both of them. Yes, they do look very sweet together and their innocent banter lights up the house. But that is just for a few moments! And, innocent they look but only when asleep.

Figure this in your mind:
Both the kids have this ride-on-car toy on which they race about the whole house without any care for anyone's foot or any other article that may come in the way. When they are finished with it, one of them finds the small hole in the wall (yes even the newly painted wall managed to get a hole) and digs it further off the paint and cement. Once you are done pulling the errant kid off the site, you find that the other has sneaked into the bathroom (that was accidentally left open) and opened the water tap to wet himself completely. After we have (sufficiently?) scolded them, there is silence for like 5 minutes. Panicking, we look for them to find them having opened the dettol handwash (which is normally placed far away on the washbasin counter) and poured the contents on to the floor! HELP!!!! (this is just a preview of what actually goes on)

The two brats exchange meaningful smiles and decide to throw the entire set of building blocks from one end of the room to the other. Though R still talks in a mazhalai that only I can understand, S and he seem to have perfect conversations. The two are in perfect sync when together and appear lost when either of the two is not available for mischief. R, who is generally a mouse in front of other kids who tend to bully him, is totally a gunda with S, snatching toys (his and hers) from her hands, pulling her hair and hitting her when provoked or even sometimes without any provocation. Not sure if his personality is changing or he is this way only with S (knowing deep down that he can take liberties with her?). I will know only when I get back to B'lore and see him in the company of his other friends.

p.s.:  yes, there are some real aww moments too. When, for e.g., R gets hurt, S is among the first to mother him and say its OK. Although R is yet to learn the finer aspects of showing love, he too reaches out at random to S to give her a hug and kiss. He waits forlornly for her to return from school and as soon as he sees her, his face brightens up.

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