Living for self

Is it possible to live just for yourself? Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not suggesting you become selfish and stop caring for others. What I mean is, is it possible to work, cook, write, sing, dance, play just to please the self and no one else, even while doing all of the above for the family, friends or acquaintances, without expecting a word of appreciation, a thank-you, a nod of approval or even acknowledgement? 

Can it happen that you live life only because you 'love' doing it and that's what makes you happy or come alive? That's how it should be, right? And, that's what the Lord advises in the Gita, too. However, in this mortal and materialistic world, it seems incredible to go on without someone to pat your back when you do well, without someone to motivate you when you hit the low, to achieve your targets without expecting a reward, to give without expecting anything in return.

In a society where we learn from childhood to behave well because, otherwise, the guests will call us 'a bad girl/boy' and not because it's the right way to behave, we develop an early fascination and detrimental habit to please the others, before we please ourselves. Even as children as we learned to first walk, talk, make that tower of blocks, we turned around to see if the grownups applauded and approved. So, it must be natural to seek praise and approval.

We learn to adjust with other people's deficiencies because 'good' people don't complain. However, we are never taught to accept our deficiencies. If you complain because something didn't go your way, you are judged and called 'immature' and as someone who 'doesn't understand or accept it as a way of life.' If you don't complain, you might be labelled as being lax and lazy who doesn't wish to evolve or reach higher living standards. Either way, you are doomed, isn't it?

Life itself is a corollary. The more you live with passion, more are the chances of attachment. However, the more detached you become, greater involvement can happen. I feel that freeing ourselves from how others perceive us is the way forward. Seeking joys in little things only because those little things are part of the great life will lead us to experience the bigger joy which is life itself. 

So, ask yourself today, am I working because I'll be liked more or because I like working? Am I giving my 100% to the job because my colleagues and boss will respect me more or because I want the job to be perfect? If you want the job to be perfect and consequently you earn more respect, then you win both ways. If you still don't get your promotion, don't come back to hit me, because I know it sucks big time and I'm still finding my answers to life's paradoxes.