The breaths were getting shorter.. The air engulfed me in a
strangle knot. I struggled to keep my eyes open..
I heard him in my almost comatose mind..”Don’t go..I’m here..”
“Sigh! The moment I longed for... came just when I was
leaving…”
There’s a loud noise. My eyes open suddenly..
I was still there..
Alone.
-----------------------------------------------
My take for the 55 word fiction theme 'just when I was leaving...' for marathon bloggers. This is a week long attempt at 55-ers.
#marathonbloggers #55wordfiction
i love how inspite of being so short, one never knows how it will end! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's fun to write short ones too, right?
DeleteSeconding Abha. It is always the end that gets to you.
ReplyDeletedid you like?
DeleteMade me breathless :)
ReplyDeletetake a deep breath :-)
Deletethis 55ers r fun, specially the end line :)
ReplyDeleteI like the twists too..
DeleteWhew! That was close.
ReplyDeleteclose.. but which situation was more pleasant?
Deleteits funny that we are all able to say so much in just 55 words that sometimes long ranty posts dont achieve :)
ReplyDeleteso true, Monika..thanks for starting this :-)
DeleteGood one. it is so much fun to convey something in only 55 words :)
ReplyDeleteThe word limit is the challenge and also the fun part..thanks, Jas :-)
Deletevery nice...Nice twist in the end
ReplyDeletethanks, Shubha..glad you liked it :-)
DeleteWow, suspense in 55 words is tough! Good one!
ReplyDeleteHey thanks, Vibha!
Delete