Like many of you, I too sat glued to the T.V to watch the opening episode of the much advertised show Satyamev Jayate hosted by Aamir Khan. I was completely impressed with the topic that was chosen to be discussed on the opening episode. Female foeticide or infanticide-a burning issue that had been debated to deaths on the blog world was finally getting the attention at a national level.
We, as bloggers, do know for a fact that educated and well-to-do people are equally and perhaps more involved in the practice. However it was an eye-opener for the rest of the audience. A simple fact of science taught in class 7 or 8 that the male chromosome is the key factor that determines the sex of a child is something that got conveniently forgotten. Or was it? The shocking case of Dr. Mitu, whose in-laws rank among the very well educated, is indeed proof that perhaps the male progeny crazed people do not care about the science.
My mother-in-law is a septuagenarian who kept trying for a son till she got one finally after 3 daughters. She was 38 when she finally became a mother of a son! She obviously wished that her first grandchild would be a male. Fortunately for her, her wish was fulfilled. Now, I know for sure that I would not have been tortured or asked to abort if it had been a girl but I have always wondered if she could have showered the same amount of love for a grand-daughter instead. I got a chance to ask her this recently and although she said she would have accepted the girl child with equal love, she also didn't mask the pride, relief and gratitude to the Almighty to have granted her wish. After all her daughter-in-law achieved something that she and many of her predecessors and contemporaries achieved after several frustrating and anxious attempts. It was a matter of status and pride those days to have a son, she quipped when prodded to the whys. I failed to make her see my point of view that if people like her grew and continued to have such beliefs today, there really would be no girl left in the country to marry off the blessed and precious sons. She is two-generations behind us, so maybe, just maybe, we can grant her, her thinking but sadly there is a vast majority from the so-called modern thinking clan who think on the very same lines. How is it that for a son to get married and have children, they want females but to have them born as their daughter or grand-daughter is simply not acceptable? What kind of warped thinking is this?
The point is, will such shows open the eyes of people who are perhaps more aggressive and vehement than my mother-in-law in their stubbornness to somehow have a male progeny in their family. The show is certainly in the right direction going by the uproar and wave it has created. For once it is about the right issue and not about some nonsensical grapevine of the Bollywood. However, the show is not only about female infanticide; the next episode on there will be other important issues to be highlighted and discussed. This cannot be handled in the same way one watches a debate on the show, discuss it online and elsewhere, create a few ripples, make small inroads here and there and then let it slither off the back and memory, few months down the line. Sustained efforts to keep the flame of reform burning and fueling it time and again to let it grow wild enough to compel people to take note of this malady is essential. And these efforts are to be made by us as individuals, by the society in general, by the authorities who shut their eyes and ears to the growing social illness and by the rest of ethical medical fraternity.
When a woman as a mother-in-law forgets the pain she goes through as a mother to bring a child into this world, when she begins to think just as a mother of a son and considers herself to have achieved the highest form of salvation by the virtue of being one and inflicts pain on the daughter-in-law either mentally or physically, it is the duty of the daughter-in-law to stand up for herself- first to secure herself and second to bring punishment to the guilty. This will happen only when daughters are raised to think independently, educated to be financially independent and given enough love and respect so that she develops a healthy self-esteem instead of raising them as just as a responsibility, someone who will get married and go off to take care of someone else's parents.Values of "adjustment" and tolerance" are good but they should not be applied when the self is at stake.
Just a couple of factors in the show that came across to me as disturbing:
Firstly, the case studies. Although I am not denying the validity and truth in them, it was certainly glaring to note that all of them barring the one from Delhi came from BJP ruled states. If this was coincidental, then it is a very interesting one. Secondly, the red areas shown on the Indian map to highlight the maligned areas funnily showed Andhra Pradesh as a fairly clean state. Now as a person who lived in Hyderabad for a few years, I can safely say that it is a state where dowry is openly discussed, taken and given. I find it really hard to believe that the state is progressive enough to not practice female foeticide or infanticide.Thirdly, while I am happy to note that a town in Punjab has been successful in eradicating this malice, I also wish to point out that the Modi government in Gujarat has been equally a crusading factor in bringing about a change.
http://www.firstpost.com/india/the-menace-of-female-foeticide-gujarats-initiatives-300703.html
These irritants can be ignored if the larger context is upheld and some progressive thinking takes place. I'll put my cynical self on hold for a while until then.
P.S. I am not a mouthpiece for Modi government or BJP but am in general more in favour of these two when compared to the other severely corrupt parties.And I am aware of the media which is largely in the hands of the ruling party and sweeps off the good work done by the opposition under the carpet and generally twists the facts to present its story.
We, as bloggers, do know for a fact that educated and well-to-do people are equally and perhaps more involved in the practice. However it was an eye-opener for the rest of the audience. A simple fact of science taught in class 7 or 8 that the male chromosome is the key factor that determines the sex of a child is something that got conveniently forgotten. Or was it? The shocking case of Dr. Mitu, whose in-laws rank among the very well educated, is indeed proof that perhaps the male progeny crazed people do not care about the science.
My mother-in-law is a septuagenarian who kept trying for a son till she got one finally after 3 daughters. She was 38 when she finally became a mother of a son! She obviously wished that her first grandchild would be a male. Fortunately for her, her wish was fulfilled. Now, I know for sure that I would not have been tortured or asked to abort if it had been a girl but I have always wondered if she could have showered the same amount of love for a grand-daughter instead. I got a chance to ask her this recently and although she said she would have accepted the girl child with equal love, she also didn't mask the pride, relief and gratitude to the Almighty to have granted her wish. After all her daughter-in-law achieved something that she and many of her predecessors and contemporaries achieved after several frustrating and anxious attempts. It was a matter of status and pride those days to have a son, she quipped when prodded to the whys. I failed to make her see my point of view that if people like her grew and continued to have such beliefs today, there really would be no girl left in the country to marry off the blessed and precious sons. She is two-generations behind us, so maybe, just maybe, we can grant her, her thinking but sadly there is a vast majority from the so-called modern thinking clan who think on the very same lines. How is it that for a son to get married and have children, they want females but to have them born as their daughter or grand-daughter is simply not acceptable? What kind of warped thinking is this?
The point is, will such shows open the eyes of people who are perhaps more aggressive and vehement than my mother-in-law in their stubbornness to somehow have a male progeny in their family. The show is certainly in the right direction going by the uproar and wave it has created. For once it is about the right issue and not about some nonsensical grapevine of the Bollywood. However, the show is not only about female infanticide; the next episode on there will be other important issues to be highlighted and discussed. This cannot be handled in the same way one watches a debate on the show, discuss it online and elsewhere, create a few ripples, make small inroads here and there and then let it slither off the back and memory, few months down the line. Sustained efforts to keep the flame of reform burning and fueling it time and again to let it grow wild enough to compel people to take note of this malady is essential. And these efforts are to be made by us as individuals, by the society in general, by the authorities who shut their eyes and ears to the growing social illness and by the rest of ethical medical fraternity.
When a woman as a mother-in-law forgets the pain she goes through as a mother to bring a child into this world, when she begins to think just as a mother of a son and considers herself to have achieved the highest form of salvation by the virtue of being one and inflicts pain on the daughter-in-law either mentally or physically, it is the duty of the daughter-in-law to stand up for herself- first to secure herself and second to bring punishment to the guilty. This will happen only when daughters are raised to think independently, educated to be financially independent and given enough love and respect so that she develops a healthy self-esteem instead of raising them as just as a responsibility, someone who will get married and go off to take care of someone else's parents.Values of "adjustment" and tolerance" are good but they should not be applied when the self is at stake.
Just a couple of factors in the show that came across to me as disturbing:
Firstly, the case studies. Although I am not denying the validity and truth in them, it was certainly glaring to note that all of them barring the one from Delhi came from BJP ruled states. If this was coincidental, then it is a very interesting one. Secondly, the red areas shown on the Indian map to highlight the maligned areas funnily showed Andhra Pradesh as a fairly clean state. Now as a person who lived in Hyderabad for a few years, I can safely say that it is a state where dowry is openly discussed, taken and given. I find it really hard to believe that the state is progressive enough to not practice female foeticide or infanticide.Thirdly, while I am happy to note that a town in Punjab has been successful in eradicating this malice, I also wish to point out that the Modi government in Gujarat has been equally a crusading factor in bringing about a change.
http://www.firstpost.com/india/the-menace-of-female-foeticide-gujarats-initiatives-300703.html
These irritants can be ignored if the larger context is upheld and some progressive thinking takes place. I'll put my cynical self on hold for a while until then.
P.S. I am not a mouthpiece for Modi government or BJP but am in general more in favour of these two when compared to the other severely corrupt parties.And I am aware of the media which is largely in the hands of the ruling party and sweeps off the good work done by the opposition under the carpet and generally twists the facts to present its story.
