Spellbound

   , , ,  22 comments



He clamped a sweaty palm over his sister's quivering lips. The yellow light flickered perilously as the coin dragged her finger over letters, one after another. The candle collapsed into a blob of melted wax as a voice sniggered, "Welcome."


 

22 comments:

  1. Shailaja VDecember 6, 2017 at 7:54 PM

    Chilling. I hope the duo made it out alive and didn't collapse like the melted candle.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LaissezFaireDecember 6, 2017 at 9:22 PM

    I loved the imagery of the candle collapsing under the weight of hot was. I got a bit turned around here: perilously as the coin dragged her finger over letters, one after another <-- it reads as if an actual coin has fingers.

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    Replies
    1. UmaDecember 7, 2017 at 8:06 AM

      I meant for the coin to have the power to move the finger, but I totally get your point. Thanks for pointing it out.

      Delete
    2. UmaDecember 7, 2017 at 8:07 AM

      Thanks for reading and commenting :)

      Delete
    3. AnonymousDecember 8, 2017 at 12:54 AM

      The image with the coin confused me, too. Thanks for clarifying.

      Delete
  3. AshaDecember 7, 2017 at 8:11 AM

    Oh! How exciting. You've set the mood beautifully by using siblings as your characters, and the tight pacing kept the tension throughout.

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    Replies
    1. UmaDecember 7, 2017 at 11:45 AM

      Thank you, Asha. Glad to see your comment :)

      Delete
  4. Deepika RameshDecember 7, 2017 at 8:12 AM

    Hi Uma! I have just discovered your blog. And I am already enjoying these posts. Thank you! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. UmaDecember 7, 2017 at 11:46 AM

      Hey Deepika, welcome! Always glad to have a reader. Thanks for the warm words and hope to see you around :)

      Delete
  5. AnushaDecember 7, 2017 at 8:57 PM

    Always look forward to reading about sibling adventures!

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    Replies
    1. UmaDecember 8, 2017 at 8:42 AM

      I like sibling adventures too. Thank you, Anusha for reading :)

      Delete
  6. lisaDecember 7, 2017 at 10:23 PM

    I liked this take on the prompt. I don't know why, but the word "blob" redirected the feeling of this from sinister to not-so-sinister, somehow? I liked it still, though. :)

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    Replies
    1. UmaDecember 8, 2017 at 8:43 AM

      Ah, you think 'blob' sort of gave it a humorous touch? Thank you, Lisa, for reading :)

      Delete
  7. D3athLilyDecember 8, 2017 at 1:02 AM

    How delightfully dark this is. I think having siblings helped tell this story so well.

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  8. RobinDecember 8, 2017 at 8:39 AM

    Ooooo, that was so delightfully creepy!

    ReplyDelete
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