I wish....

... I had the boon of sprouting extra arms. Really, I need it at least in the morning hours. Imagine a scene, when the coffee needs to be made, the lunch and breakfast prepared, lunch packed, breakfast eaten, something called a bath needs to be checked off the list and in the midst of all this the toddler needs to be fed, cleaned and kept away from making merry and mischief. Imagine doing all of this like a juggler's act. Phew!

I wish I could yell at the clock, "shrimati tickticky shaant hojayiye!" "Mujhe lifeline chaahiye!!!". Actually it works much better if this is directed at the Husband who is peacefully meditating while the circus is on at full swing. No fun being alone in the circus. More the merrier. So the Husband joins in haplessly. He dons the garb of the lifeline and proceeds to handle the toddler who is a gleeful spectator and also the secret catalyst in sprucing the whole show.

Then there are days that seem like the universe is out to punish you for all the wrong doings in the last 5 lifetimes, all at once in this lifetime. The dal gets burnt, the dosas stick to the pan, the milk boils over onto the stove and the counter, the toddler is at his extra energetic self, having already spilt the sugar and salt on the floor, decides to re-design the interiors and insists on having the sofa cushions on the floor. The law of Murphy also works to the Tee on such days with the Husband suddenly announcing that he has a meeting early in the day and "sadly" he cannot be the "lifeline" that day. On such days I have resisted the urge to scream "Bachaoooooooo" and dash out of the house.


  1. What else can I say, Uma.. But to say.. I wish too! :P

  2. Awwww! hugs darling...I can so relate to this..I wish I had like 10 arms or something EVERY DAMN morning...

    hugs hugs hugs..

  3. Thanks to you, when I'll be facing all this, I'll know abnormal is normal. :) ;) As I read ur such posts, and laughter starts to erupt, a warning bell rings in my mind..."ATTENTION...This is gonna be you in a few days" .. Phew! :)

  4. Uma, it gets even more interesting if the junior starts giving menu specs! The V-house resembles a mini-hotel (but serving only a family of 6) between 6.30 and 8.00 am! This is even after accounting 3 life lines:) so, loooong way to go.. Sorry am not being helpful;))

  5. Totally get it! Have you seen "The Incredibles"? I want to be Elastigirl!!! Stretch myself in every direction at once!!!
    What really helps me is my rule of "no cooked breakfast except on weekends". That way I am not slaving over the gas stove every morning. The only options my family have is whether they can have butter/jam/cheese/nutella on their toast :))
    Keep your energy up. It'll get worse once the lil fell starts school *** evil grin***** (sorry, could not resist!!)

  6. Heyyyyyyy slow down Miss Umsy
    I know, it's easy to say that but when the morning's mayhem sets in, there's no stopping it!
    Really enjoyed reading this one -- it's so straight-from-the-heart!! I can imagine you doing this little tandav nritya in the kitchen...specially loved the bit about the helpful husband who always has an important meeting
    ;-) Hahahaha
    I'm often in the same boat and was fuming last night from it, so warm hugs to tell you "You are not alone".
    Tip: Ignore son while packing for husband and bundling him out of the house.
    Tip 2: Once your li'l guy starts playschool, ignore husband while bundling Lil'l One off!!!
    Ok, that doesn't help eh?

  7. SnS: :-) lets do some yagna and please kali mata for the needful..what say?

    RM: *hugs back* wanna join the yagna?? :-))

    Purnima: lol, laugh away..its OK..when its your time, the blog is always there!

  8. ha ha ha..poor you ! reminds me of that avvai shanmugi song.. thankfully , things have not reached such dire straits till now..another year or so and I'll probably do a similar post :-)

  9. Vidya: aah..misery sure louves company..:-)) sigh! I need more lifelines!

    Aparna: oh..haven't watched it..but can very well imagine! I too follow the std breakfast of either toast or idli/dosa that too with readymade batter on weekdays...
    aah, you veteran mothers! :-P

    FM: hahaha..I try to follow tip one all the time..maybe I'll try to ignore both and catch some more sleep instead ;-)

  10. LOlolol....couldn't resist visiting the site and placing my response. Today, in the midst of the morning mayhem...srishti spilt half a kilo of baby powder...resembled a chakki wala...fully white. If that wasn't enough, she asked me to apply mehendi for her just before leaving for school. K vanished without watering the plants.......bachaaaaaaaaaooooooo

  11. Haha.. quite a funny read!! BTW who is the ring master???? :P :P

  12. LOL Uma - the ultimate description of what many of us feel like on most mornings :). And the "Bachaooo!" just has me laughing so much and wanting to try it out someday soon to see the reaction of the rest of my household ;).

  13. I absolutely loved this post!
    I can so much relate to this post.
    I loved this line "shrimati tickticky shaant hojayiye!"

  14. Bhargavi: lol..enjoy while it lasts..:-)

    Chitra: LOL...can very well imagine the scene...:-)

  15. Radhika: :-) any guesses???

    Aparna: hahaha..me too want to try it out...we shld do it I say!

    Sahana: lol..thanks:-) don't we all mothers relate to this? :-)

  16. LOL I suddenly remmebered a dialogue my mom used to say when she was asked to hurry up when we were getting late....
    "I'm not a computer*, I have only 2 hands"
    * at tht point in time she had no clue what a computer did just tht it was some kind of magical yantram;-D.

    Nice and funny post Uma....we all can go thru this & soooo can identify with ur travails;-D

  17. Radhika: Its hard to sometimes point out the culprit..you'll probably understand the situation better later in life..;-)

    Nancy: LOL..so true! and thanks :-))

  18. Your mornings are so much like mine...I don't know what else to add to it. Only difference being I don't have a kid yet (but hubby makes up it) and I hv a job. The phrase I keep repeating often is - "When I have to go early, the whole universe conspires to make me late" :P

    PS: Sorry I haven't been able to comment on all ur posts, but I'm reading :)

  19. Namratha: heyyy..so nice to see u again :-)
    lol, abhi se yeh haal hain..what will happen when the kid comes..:-)
    very happy to know that you read my posts..thanks :-)

  20. Funny :)

    However when you reflect on these mornings are realize you did it - with just two arms - it is rather amazing right? I mean we are pretty impressive people :)

  21. Mallika: hehe..thanks:-)

    wow..I didn't think of it that way! yes, we are already super-women..:-)

    welcome here :-)

  22. Scared me out of my wits :(
    I cant imagine doing any of this .. My slow paced, relaxed life where I don't have to provide for anyone is so wonderful ..
    Morning coffee in the terrace while daydreaming and listening to the birds, then bath and off to work .. Back home in the evening to play with my nephew, read, some skin care with home remedies and off to sleep .. I do help out with the cooking and sometimes cook and pack for myself also but that's only when I feel like it or when mom is unwell ..
    Do I have to do all this too? (Lost frightened look on the face)
    But the world is so unfair .. Why do women have to do all the work and men chip in only when asked and feel like they're up to it .. I vehemently oppose this!!

    1. LOL, Arathy! well there are some good days too.
      I envy your schedule....siiiigh! I had my days too..never did much work before my marriage. It's all the law of karma ;-)
      Look out for someone who is already domesticated and your life will be set :-)))

  23. lol...what to do...a woman doesn't have any retirement age also..isn't it pitiable? I too wish that I should relax and just read books or listen to music..but the morning chores are so much that i wish some magic happens and all the works gets over somehow!


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